Jeez Jon

How Not To: Audition

One of the key things to remember when you go into an audition is to have confidence.  Confidence will carry you very far.  If you stumble a line here or there but then keep going without batting an eye, people see that and smile to themselves.  If you go in with the quiet knowledge that you have this in the bag, that confidence shows.

However, confidence will only take you so far.  Confidence will not make you a better singer... or make you not come across as a douchebag.  Let's say, for instance, you have an audition for a musical.  And you can't really sing.  But you go anyway.  While you aren't very confident in your singing prowess, you should be doubly confident in your acting.  Hell, Rex Harrison is not a singer but did a great job in My Fair Lady & Doctor Doolittle 'cause he sold the acting element of it. He didn't try to ham his way through it like bad karaoke; he sold the emotional life of what the character was feeling. All this cannot be said, unfortunately, about Election and American Pie star Chris Klein and his audition for the film version of Mamma Mia.  Ladies and gentlemen, this is how not to audition:

The douchey story he says at the beginning about Mandy Moore? Him trying to sell his singing but knowing he's full of it?  All nerves coming out and the wrong way to express them.  If chatting with the casting folks makes you at ease in the room, then do it.  But you can tell from the terrified look in his eyes from the start of the video that he's toast.  The fact that he also comes across as a jerk doesn't help matters.  The next audition I go on, I'll think of this... and do the opposite.

How Not To: Come Out

I'm christening a new feature here at Jeez Jon:  How Not To. Things have been happening lately that serve as examples of how to do something and then how not to do something.

The inspiration of this was when Ricky Martin came out of the closet last week.  He handled it with some grace and style, and a bit of modesty.  He also did it pretty simply: he made a statement on his website. 

Today is my day, this is my time, and this is my moment.

These years in silence and reflection made me stronger and reminded me that acceptance has to come from within and that this kind of truth gives me the power to conquer emotions I didn't even know existed.

What will happen from now on? It doesn't matter. I can only focus on what's happening to me in this moment. The word "happiness" takes on a new meaning for me as of today. It has been a very intense process. Every word that I write in this letter is born out of love, acceptance, detachment and real contentment. Writing this is a solid step towards my inner peace and vital part of my evolution.

I am proud to say that I am a fortunate homosexual man. I am very blessed to be who I am. 

Now, in this day and age, when a celebrity comes out of the closet, it's really not that much of a shock anymore.  The nation's gaydar has gotten a lot better over the years, so when Ricky Martin finally said he's a "fortunate homosexual man", we as a society greeted it with a collective "...duh!"  Barring the coming out of Meredith Baxter late last year, I have yet to be surprised by a celebrity who admits he or she is LGBT. 

While the argument can be made that Martin's admittance is a bit too little-too late, I do feel that people coming out is a good thing.  It's not like he's been staunchly anti-gay before; he's maybe a bit late to the party than we'd like, but at least Ricky Martin's gay debut is done with a bunch of class. This is an example of how to come out.

And now, here's where the "How Not To" kicks in.  Not much hay was made a few weeks ago when Will & Grace actor Sean Hayes finally came out to the Advocate. Really, are any of us surprised?  No.  Like Martin, Hayes danced around the subject for years and years.  Pardon the pun, but he really wouldn't give a straight answer about his sexual orientation.  He would give either really stock answers (like "I want to protect my privacy") to being downright coy about it.  Now, years after Will & Grace ended, he's finally come out... bitter, party of one:

Finally, Hayes gets to his true point: “I feel like I’ve contributed monumentally to the success of the gay movement in America, and if anyone wants to argue that, I’m open to it. You’re welcome, Advocate.”

"You're welcome"?!  Seriously?  Yes, Will and Grace was a ground-breaking show.  Yes, it helped shift the culture back in the late 90's, especially since it debuted soon after Ellen Degeneres came out on her sitcom. But seriously, let's break this down. Hayes is not a gay rights advocate, a politician or a volunteer at a non-for-profit clinic.  Hayes was an actor on a show. His performance as Jack McFarland was marvelous and wonderful and deserving of every award he received.  But fundamentally? He's an actor on a show.  He didn't create the character, the writers did.  So, if he didn't get cast in the role, some other actor would have, and would have contributed to the gay rights movement, Sean.  He claims that he was being coy about his sexuality in the press because he didn't want to be typecast. This is right after he admitted that he got the audition for Will & Grace after the producers saw him play a gay character in Billy's Hollywood Screen Kiss.  So, seriously, it was the very typecasting that he was claiming to avoid that got him 8 years on a hit sitcom, his current success starring on Broadway and a fucking Emmy.  So, while the rest of us gay plebians were doing the yeoman's work of actually living our lives from day to day, being out, doing our work, putting ourselves out there, here was Sean Hayes playing a gay character, making millions and doing a douchey dance around the subject of whether or not he likes boys.  

Ricky Martin comes out proud and happy; Sean Hayes comes out petulant, bratty, and douchey.  Marin for the win here. And Sean, this is how not to come out.