Jeez Jon

Forgoing The Reunion

This coming Saturday is my 20th High School Reunion... and I'm not going.  Mostly, the reason why we aren't going is timing.  Neither Tom nor I get paid days off for our jobs and Tom is his entire department on his show.  If he takes time off, there isn't anyone that can fill in for him while he's gone.  Couple that expense of travel, lodging and the actual reunion, and well, that pretty much cements it.

High school for me was a very mixed bag.  I had a good deal of friends and I did find a pretty good niche doing drama and Speech Team there.  Coping with my sexuality at the time, however, was not easy for me.  I didn't date in high school because I was scared I was going to be "found out". That and I just couldn't accept it yet.  I also had the joy of having some of the jocks of the school calling me "faggot" as I walked to and from classes.  So, high school was frought with tension.  I had some wins (some nice character roles in plays, Speech Team medals and awards, some great friends) and some losses (never got a lead role in high school, nasty comments said my way, anger at myself and others, some nasty comments I said about others that I'm now definitely not proud of, lots and lots of angst).  But I don't look back fondly.

Like a lot of people, I was still trying to find myself in high school and didn't really flourish until college.  Because of this, I'll get nostalgic about college but not high school.  Into my late 20's, I still kept a fantasy going about arriving at my 10 year high school reunion and showing off my (semi) successful self as an actor and being out and proud and show off my fantastic husband.  But, that was not meant to be.  I didn't get the information on my 10 year reunion until 2 weeks ahead of time... and I was moving that weekend.  So instead of making the bullies who tormented me eat crow over overcooked chicken and watered-down drinks at some banquet hall in the Chicago area, I and a band of 10 people were shlepping boxes into Tom's and my new apartment in Los Angeles.  And that's when I really let high school go. Let go of getting "revenge" for slights that happened decades ago, and letting go of the vicious gossip that I was as well.

Through the advent of Facebook, I'm now reconnected with a lot of friends of mine from high school I thought I'd never see again.  I can drop them a line, say happy birthday, trade comments and some civilized debate over topics serious and trivial, and even Instant Message and catch up.  Because of this, I don't really feel the need to fly back to the Chicago area this weekend, plop down $150 for Tom and I to go connect with people with whom I'm already connected.  Sure, it would be fun to grab a drink and catch up, but I know that we can at least do that virtually at any time.  Also, on a practical level, my closest friends from high school are a year younger than me so they wouldn't even be there anyway. 

However, there is one big reason why Tom and I aren't going to my reunion.  See, we aren't going to be coming into town this weekend 'cause we're going to be in Chicago the weekend before Thanksgiving.  Why? My ultra-talented husband is a finalist in the 2010 Great Gay Screenplay Contest, and they are doing a staged reading of his script Detassling.  With our schedules being rather tight, you can see why I would chose this weekend to come in instead of my reunion. 

If any of my high school friends (or any other friends I've made since high school) want to do a mini-reunion that weekend and support my awesome husband, you can get the information on the readings here and the tickets here.  Getting together for this reason is the best excuse for a reunion that I can think of.

Outside Affecting The Inside

It's hot in LA right now.  Like, record-breaking hot.  It always amazes me how much one's environment has an impact on one's well-being.  For instance, in this heat, there's really not much you can do except to just hole up in some air conditioning (if possible), drink lots of water, and take it easy.  The heat is so much that it's hard to even think straight.  The heat is expected to break in the next couple of days, which is good.  That'll allow me -- and the 8 million some residents of the greater LA area -- to relax a little bit.  But one recent occurance in my environment will definitely help my well-being.

See, my noisy neighbors are moving out. 

When the recession hit, there were at least 5 vacancies in my building. This is a rare occurance for our little mountain oasis of an apartment building in Northeastern Los Angeles.  When you combine a pretty well maintained building with great views and rent control, then you tend to get a bunch of working professionals who want to live in quiet and harmony.  In the 10+ years Tom and I have lived in our place, we've seen a bunch of neighbors come and go... but a bunch more have stayed put.  And then we noticed several apartments have laid empty.  And our landlord would look more and more frayed and dishelved.   The economy got worse and worse and then the apartments started getting filled. 

First, it was the friendly young (gay) couple with a roommate and two dogs, a first for the building.  Not the gay couple, obviously, but the dogs.  The landlord had a very strict No Dogs policy, but desperate times, blah-blah-blah, and boom, welcome to your canine companinions.  They were super nice, very polite, and could rock out on the Rock Band as well as the next people.  Then some more folks started moving in... with kids.  Now, kids weren't a regular staple of the building.  But after the dogs came in, then came the children.  The first two units that had kids were fine; I could hear the kids in the afternoon or sometimes in the morning, but once night rolled out, not a thing. 

That was until Molly* moved in to Unit #4. *(not her real name)

Molly and her semi-adorable squeaky-voiced daughter moved into the unit directly across Tom and I.  A young Latina single mom in her early-to-mid 20's, Molly was a quiet person when we'd come across her in the parking lot directly below our units.  Her daughter would see either one of our cats (or the stray cats who would wander around the building) and shout "KITTY! KITTY!  KITTY! MAMMA THAT'S A KITTY KITTY KITTY!" It was cute... the first couple of times. Molly would always have her windows and her front door wide open (with the screen door shut, of course).  And that's when we'd hear the shouting.  Molly would yell at her daughter in Spanglish.  I took French in high school and my Spanish is limited to food items, so I'll do my best to translate to you what she'd yell at her daughter.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING [QUESADILLA]?! PICK THAT UP RIGHT NOW, [ENCHILADA]!"

"OOOOOOH, [TORTA], GET IN HERE RIGHT NOW!"

"[CHILI CON CARNE], WHY IS THAT IN YOUR MOUTH?!"

"[TACO] [TOSTADA] [FRIJOLES] [TAQUITO], DAMN IT!"

Each one of these instances would follow with a high pitched cry from the daughter, and full-on gutteral scream as well.  And this happened at lease 4 times a week.  The most common thing Molly would yell is "HEY!" One night during the middle of summer, I was watching Community, and my enjoyment of the fast-witted humor of Joel McHale kept getting interrupted by "HEY!" coming from Molly's unit. 

"HEY!" Pause.  "HEY!"  Pause. "HEY!!!!!"  Double Pause.  "HEY!!!!!"

I then went to my window and shouted at the top of my lungs "HEYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!"

That shut her up for the rest of the night. But the next evening, she was right back at it.  I thought of how I could go about talking to her about the noise, about how she could try to be respectful of the rest of her neighbors.  I was totally forgiving of any and all noises coming from her place during the day.  But when night rolls around and you want some quiet time, the last thing you need is to hear someone shouting and yelling at their kid.  I was seriously toying with calling Child Protective Services, but what would I say?  The mom yells a lot?  The kid cries a lot?  I cried a lot as a kid, my poor parents.  I sent out an e-mail to my neighbor friends here about the noise from Unit #4 and how we should approach our landlord about it. 

But apparently, I don't have to do that, because fate has stepped in.  Yesterday, as Tom and I were hanging out in our living room I looked through the vertical blinds (not my choice) to the doorway of Unit #4 and I saw a couple guys carrying chairs out of the unit.  Then the same guys were carrying more stuff.  And more stuff.  And more.  Yup, Molly is moving out.

The moment that realization sunk in, my shoulders relaxed.  I realized how much stress and annoyance had built up in me around this one very loud irritant in my life.  Now, I know someone even worse can move into her place and my tension level could get higher.  But the fact that Molly is going someplace else makes me just sink back into my chair in a very relaxed state.  Now if we can get the weather back out of triple digits, my night would be complete.

Three Weeks

Sometimes things happen in life that are great and you immediately want to exclaim and shout and go "Whoo!"  Sometimes things happen in life that are great and you want to let them sit for a while.  Make sure that this really happened and all that.  Well, something happened a few weeks ago and I've let it sit.  So, it's about time I told you.

I got a job.

Starting on July 5th, I'm back at work in the reality television trenches.  Due to the obvious reasons, I'll hold off on saying which show but I will say that Goofy Workplace DocuSoap should be a totally fun experience.  I'll be working with a friend of mine for the first time, so that'll be great.  Also, their office is closer to my house than my last couple of gigs, so I can look forward to a 20 minute commute instead of an hour commute... on the 110 during rush hour.  I'm very excited about it, as you can imagine. 

I interviewed for the gig and got it weeks ago, but I've been sitting on the news for a while.  I mean, I told Tom, my family, and a good chunk of my friends.   I think since I don't actually start the job for another three weeks took some of the immediacy off of broadcasting the news all around the blogosphere (or at least my little corner of it).  After 4 months of unemployment, I can now enjoy my last three weeks of unemployment.  

Long-term unemployment goes like this: the first month is fun. You sleep in maybe a bit. You give yourself a good schedule, finally working out on a regular basis, tackling projects around the house that have been collecting dust, and getting coffee and lunches with friends during the day because you can.  All the while, you do look for work, but you aren't terribly stressed about it.  The second month the work itch becomes more pronounced. You hit job boards several times a day. You start e-mailing friends about jobs, and think about maybe cold-calling companies for work.  You work out a bit more intensely at the beginning of the month, but it tapers off as the anxiety kicks in.  The third month you start seriously curbing any and all expenses, so you stay home most of the time. You are online a good deal, looking for work, reading the news, looking for work and also looking for work. You also start to memorize what TV channels do reruns of which shows and when (like Bravo running The West Wing Monday through Friday 8am to 10am, for instance). You start working out less, and stress eating more. The fourth month involves more TV watching, tons of hitting job sites, and then you go back to working out after your clothes start getting tighter and tighter from all the stress eating. All the while the specter of No Work hanging over your head.

Now, this cycle has been thankfully broken.  With three weeks until I start the gig, I am back working out 4 to 5 days a week (including varying my cardio routine with taking very brisk walks around the Silverlake Reservoir). I can now enjoy my time away from hitting job boards every half hour, not feeling like I'm missing something or someone is going to nab a job or whatever.  I can have lunch with friends during the day again or go grocery shopping without feeling I'm Tom Joad about to pack up the family and head west. Now is the time I'm going to enjoy the time that I have... and work to fit back into my thin jeans.  Not skinny jeans, though; those are hideous.

Tee Hee Hee

Tennessee is really going to get screwed by this coming storm system:

Even though I recently turned 38, in many ways I'm still 11 years old. [H/T: Towleroad]

Alternate Endings: Hamlet

Things would be very different for Ophelia in "Hamlet" if she had a sassy gay friend:

Too damn funny.

[via Stephen Falk]

Time On My Hands

After wrapping out on the MTV show and visiting the cold climes of the Midwest, I'm now here in my apartment in northeast Los Angeles with nothing pressing to do.  Well, besides looking for work, which I am.  And helping out my dad on some web stuff... which I am.  And prepping some stuff for my inevitable VO demo... which I'm doing later on this week. But this is the first time since mid-October where I haven't had something to do at all times.  It's a nice feeling.  I do need some days of taking it easy, reading Howards End (which I'm thoroughly enjoying), playing some video games, going to the gym, and just kicking back.  Yes, I'm hitting job websites several times a day.  Yes, I'm doing some cleaning around the house.  Yes, there are several projects I want to do around the apartment, like getting my taxes in order and some organizing.  But right now?  I am enjoying the fact that I have options in front of me, a list of tasks that I can do in any order I like. 

Now, I know that the novelty will wear off soon.  But hey, let me enjoy some time with the husband and the cats.  That's needed as well.

The Latest In Exfoliants

About a week ago, my cat Floppy thought my face was dirty and I needed a cleaning.  Warning: tons of cuteness follows.

Oh, c'mon, I've been way overdue on a cat video post, so cut me some slack.

Eight Degrees of Separation

Tom and I are in Illinois this week for a belated family visit.  My family is in the Chicago area and his are in central Illinois.  Connecting with our families is a great thing indeed, spending quality time with the nieces and nephews is always a trip.  But one thing I'm not fond of?  The midwestern winters.  Current temperature outside?  8F.  Yes, 8 degress Farenheit.  Oof.  Too cold for words.  And yes, this does make me appreciate the warmer climes of Los Angeles even more than usual.  I'll take days and days and days of rain in exchange for blistering cold, thank you very much. Still, cold weather is a small price to pay to reconnect with family and some friends. 

Sounds Like Quite A Scene

Having worked in reality television for as long as I have, this video is even more hilarious than you think. [NSFW - you are warned]

VH1 Reality Show Bus Crashes In California Causing Major Slut Spill

The Onion is so freaking brilliant.  [H/T: My friend/co-worker Kory]

Onward And Upward

I've been away from this blog for too long.  Indeed, sometimes, life takes over.  In the past few weeks, my brother visited LA for a week while I was working.  After he left, Tom and I took a much needed mini=vacation to Disneyland.  Since then, I've been taking it easy. I had last week off from work and this week as well, and I want to enjoy both of them as much as I can.  In this down time, I've been doing some reflecting... which isn't something I do terribly often. 

On a business level, this has not been a banner year.  I booked no acting jobs this year... none at all.  That hasn't happened to me in ages.  The idea that the entertainment industry is recession-proof was proven false in 2009.  Everyone in the industry -- indeed, everyone in LA felt the pinch.  Budgets where slashed on all kinds of shows, and commercial budgets were cut as well.  When the feds bailed out the auto industry, the number of auto ads plummeted.  Considering that they make up 40% of all television commercials, you can see why my number of auditions went down this year... and the number of infomercials went up.  Actors I know who work regularly were struggling for one-line co-star roles on basic cable dramas.  It sucked for me, but it also sucked all around.  

On the reality front, I worked on one show this year -- two seasons of it.  I lucked out in that it's a show I love for a company I like with people I really, really respect.  But that has only been for half the year.  The other half I was unemployed. So, my grand plans of cutting down my debt was thrown out the window by the sheer force of the economy.  

In talking to my family, friends, and co-workers, there is basically one tenet that ran true in 2009: survival.  Just hunkering down and getting through were the mantras this year.  Living through the worst economic situation this country has seen since the Great Depression is worthy of a medal... for all of us.  Tom and I are the same as the bulk of our family and friends.  We have more debt that we'd like; we wish we were further along in our respect career paths; we wish we had nicer stuff.  But, the key thing is, we have what we have and that's better than nothing.  With so many people being underwater with their mortgages, I consider myself fortunate for being in a rent-controlled apartment.  Even though I've had to downgrade my health insurance this year due to the cost, at least I have it.  I may not have my Series Regular role on a hip, critically-acclaimed dramedy.  But I do have many things instead:  I have a fantastic husband, a great family I wish I could see more, wonderful friends, and a career path I enjoy (both acting and working in reality TV). 

I could sit and list all the things that went wrong this year. Sometimes I lapse into the "What If?" scenarios of poor decisions I've made.  I could get angry and pissed and depressed and upset.  But why?  Why do that?  Why dwell?  It changes nothing.  Focusing on the negatives, on the what if's, is a nasty habit that ends up derailing me from what I want.  It's easy to sit and be bitter and fantasize about the Path Not Taken.  But, that in essence is just belittling oneself.  Dwelling on the Path Not Taken is just another way of beating ourselves up on the paths we took.  We all make poor decisions from time to time.  We all make mistakes, however small.  Best to acknowledge the mistakes, learn from the mistakes and keep going.  

Back in high school, I had an epiphany about the Secret of Life: Forward Movement.  The world spins forward, and so should we.  Whenever I've followed by gut instinct and moved forward, things have gone well for me.  Any time I go against my gut, I backslide.  So, in light of current events, I'm moving on.  I am truly convinced that economically speaking, things will turn around in 2010.  They may not be fully back to what we collectively like, but things will be better.  Instead of worrying about what might be, I'm going to focus on what I can do. That's why this year, I have only two "resolutions":

(1) Don't Dwell.  Don't luxuriate in how things go, either for good or for ill.  If things go poorly, acknowledge them, get the bad feelings out and then move on.  If something goes very well, enjoy the moment, and then move on.  Life is all about highs and lows, and as long as we don't get too caught up in either direction, we're fine. 

(2) Don't Eat Your Feelings.  I have a bad habit.  If things are going well for me, I tend to placate myself with bad foods:  chocolate, french fries, fried... well, anything, really.  If things go well for me, I tend to reward myself with... exactly the same foods I comfort myself with.  So not a good idea any way you slice it.  So, if things go well or poorly, I'm steering myself away from the fried chocolate section of any kitchen in a 100 foot radius of me.  I know I will feel better in the end for this decision.

The year and the decade are coming to a close.  It's fun to look back to see how far we've come and what's happened in our past.  But it's more important to look ahead.  That's where the new is, that's where the mystery is... that's where the fun is.  Instead of chewing over mistakes you've made in the past, wouldn't you instead rather look at the fun?