NOTE: The following containers spoilers for one of the popular movies of 2017 and one of the best horror films of the past 20 years. If you do not wish to be spoiled, please stop reading and go see the movie. If not, you will end up in the Sunken Place.
GET OUT ROUGH CUT 2 NETWORK NOTES
Hello! Thanks to your team for your quick efforts on the last cut. Some progress has been made but we are not there yet. Unfortunately, we do feel that this is far from ready. We'd like at least two more Rough Cuts before we go to Fine. (I'm not sure if that's in our contract or not but hey, are you going to stop us?) Tonally, the show is not what we requested. Remember, this is a DATING SHOW and our diverse lead is meeting his girl's family for the very first time. Right now, it's creepy when it should be romantic. It's disturbing where it should be elegant. Where are the scenes of Chris and Rose walking along a well-lit beach talking about their connection? Do they ever share about their journey as they stroll through the woods? Do they ever bond about their love while non-threatening acoustic guitar music is playing? Please comb through your footage and let's re-think this. Think more THE BACHELOR and less ROSEMARY'S BABY. Also, a bite pass is absolutely necessary. Right now, poor Chris is completely lost and we aren't hearing how he's thinking or feeling. How can we care for him if he isn't indicating every single emotion to us in interview? Remember, our audience is experiencing this show while goofing on Snapchat and live Tweeting. If we can't have them follow the show as they are using a Cocker Spaniel filter while ordering Thai Food on Postmates, then we aren't doing our jobs.
Look into doing some pick up interviews with Chris. (Does he have an outfit not covered in blood? If not, please talk to Wardrobe.) Once a full bite pass is done, then we'll send time-coded notes.
Also, is there a take where Chris doesn't brutally murder Rose? Per our research, she is an exact stand-in for our network dating show demographic; seeing her killed could alienate our core audience. Let's discuss!
ANDRE IN SUBURBIA
Is there something wrong with this cut? The show starts with a no name guy walking around the suburbs talking to a friend on the phone. No intro bite, no b-roll montage; not even a lower third! Sure, he gets kidnapped and that may help to establish the mood but I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT'S GOING ON. If I don't know, then our audience won't know and they'll change the channel. Let's make it a snap-in.
LEAVING FOR UPSTATE NEW YORK
Oh, finally! Young millennials in their attractive loft space in New York; it's like Girls but less smug! Chris and Rose seem to have a great life in New York. But it took me a while to find out that he's a photographer! Let's get into this sooner than later. Let's get a juicy intro package with Chris. Start with a bite along the lines of: "Hey, everyone! I'm Chris. I'm in my mid-to-late 20's and I'm a photographer living in New York City with my lovely girlfriend Rose." Then do a big montage of his photography, his relationship with Rose and don't forget their dog! Let's put our best foot forward and sell our romantic couple early and often.
Chris mentions his nerves about meeting Rose's parents and she laughs it off saying that she didn't have to tell them that he's black. This is a great opportunity to go to a bite! Have Chris say something along the lines of "I know Rose is trying to put my nerves to rest but I have to say, I'm nervous about meeting her family! I hope to make a great first impression!" (Please get this verbatim) We have to establish Chris' objective early and revisit this every few minutes. Remember, characters only have one objective in a show and it never changes at all. That's the essence of storytelling!
DRIVE TO UPSTATE NEW YORK
Chris' best friend Rod is a great character. (He is really popping with all of our millennial assistants here at the network! Possible spinoff?) He's funny and down-to-earth, like a younger Cedric The Entertainer. Let's kick him off with a great intro package! Have him talk about his time at the TSA, how long he's been friends with Chris and what he thinks about Chris' relationship with Rose. If we don't get this from him in bite, then we will never know what Rod thinks about anything. So, mine your interviews and bring us the best Rod gold possible!
The scene where Rose hits the deer is very problematic. Does the deer die? Right now, it's rather ambiguous. And we don't do ambiguous on this network (well, only on the scripted side). Is there any way that we can show that deer being alive? Or that Rose gets pulled over for maybe a broken tail light? If not, PETA is going to be so far up our ass. Please revisit your footage and come up with a creative solution. The last thing we need is more protests!
How does Chris feel about the deer? Or being profiled by the policeman? Does this tie in at all to his nerves about meeting Rose's parents? This is why a bite pass is absolutely necessary, guys! Sure, he says that he thinks his girl is amazing and all but if he doesn't say it in bite, how am I to know how he feels? HOW AM I TO KNOW?
MEETING THE PARENTS
This scene needs A LOT of work. That is a great shot of Rose's car as they pull up to her house. Is Chris anxious about this? Excited? I'd know if there was a bite here from him... but there isn't. And then when Chris finally meets the parents, you guys stay on the wide shot and we just hear them talk. WRONG WRONG WRONG. If I don't see them actually meeting for the first time on camera, how am I to know it actually happened? I don't know who edited this but they should possibly reconsider their line of work. We are building up to this moment the entire time and it's gone in a wide shot! Yes, it establishes a sense of foreboding and creeping terror but I can't see what's happening. Remember the cardinal rule of reality TV: "If it doesn't happen in a medium shot, it doesn't happen at all."
Rose's parents Dean and Missy are very accomplished and lovely. The scene work with Chris and Rose is nice but rather oft-putting, especially at dinner. It's as if they are saying one thing but meaning another. (Like their words are text and there's something... underneath them.) A bite pass here would really work wonders. Clarity is key! If Dean and Missy have some nefarious motives, they need to clue the audience in early on. Surprises only confuse people! Remember our core demographic for our romantic dating shows and try to keep their bites to 140 characters or less. A bite longer than a tweet can easily befuddle them.
The Wedgwood Ceramics trade-out with Missy's tea cup is great. No notes.
(Side Note: Is there a spinoff possibility with Missy and her hypnotism? If she can get Chris to stop smoking after one session, imagine what she can do on an hour-long for a top-tier cable network? E! would buy Hollywood Hypnotist faster than a Kardashian gets a headline in the Daily Mail. Write up a one-sheet and call me tomorrow!)
COCKTAIL PARTY
Wow, there are a lot of people arriving for this party. Please have Rose give a concise set up bite for the party. (Do we have a trade out with Lincoln Towncars? Looks like it). Also, let's do a chryon pass on this scene. All of those middle-aged white folks tend to blend together.
Please make sure we have a material release for all of the bingo cards in the auction scene.
CHRIS TRIES TO LEAVE
Wait, Rose has been working with her parents against Chris the whole time? That comes out of absolutely nowhere! It's surprising and I'm completely thrown. We really need to build up to this, guys. Yes, Chris finds the photos of her with Georgina and Walter and the others. Don't assume that the audience is as sophisticated as we are. Let's weave this in more overtly by putting in bites from Rose about what her intentions are so this is set up correctly. We always have to the tell the audience exactly what's going on at all times; it's Storytelling 101!
The Fruit Cereal & Milk trade-out works perfectly. No notes.
Per legal, please add a disclaimer saying it's not recommended for our viewers to try to add people's brains to black people so they can inhabit their bodies. If not, we're just asking for a lawsuit.
Is there a less violent end to this show? Chris ends up on a killing spree and that makes him an unideal romantic lead. Is there a take where he gives Rose's family a firm talking to? Where Rose apologizes and then they walk down a flower-strewn path as they talk wistfully about their future in a joint interview? Please comb through your footage. Let's end on a positive note!
S&P says that Rod's line should be "I"m with the T. S [BLEEP]-ing A."
Please do
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