First of all, sorry for the delay in posting. It's been ages, so apologies all around. I'm well into my life as Unemployment Guy and things are... well, to be expected. I spend my days looking for work, cleaning the apartment, grocery shopping and going to the gym. Well, the last thing I haven't been doing much of lately, which changes tomorrow morning.
See, I turned 38 last week. Yes, I'm saying my age; I never really hid it anyway, so why not just say it? I got some nice gifts from Tom and a great breakfast in the morning, and we went out for dinner and ice cream that night. In the middle of the day, however, I ended up just sitting in my living room... all quiet. And it really started hitting me about how old I was. My 20 year high school reunion is this year and I don't have a job. When Tom and I moved out here, I thought I'd have an Emmy by 38, not unemployment checks. As I was sitting there and I could feel depression starting to grasp at my toes, I realized I had a choice to make. And, like most things lately, let me phrase this choice as two opposing Facebook Status updates. Number 1:
Jon is an unemployed loser who turned 38 today with no job, no acting gigs on the horizon, only one audition this week and not much to show for himself.
Or, there's option number 2:
Jon, despite being currently unemployed with no acting gigs on the horizon, has plenty to be happy for in his life, including an awesome husband, a great family, marvelous friends, and two great cats. It also helps that while Jon is 38, he looks at least 11 years younger. Suck on that, insecurity!
I took a deep breath and chose Option Number 2. Things happen when they happen, and you do what you can. I do have plenty of things going for me, as I've enumerated above. While things aren't ideal, they are pretty damn good. And having that perspective has really helped me. When you are unemployed for a good period of time, it really starts feeling like the movie Groundhog Day. With no real need to do anything, all the days do start to blend together. But, ever since I made that choice, I've felt better. I've been more active... well, not at the gym, but like I said, I'm going back there tomorrow. Sometimes life is about making subtle shifts; change an attitude here, change a action there. Sooner than later, things are different and better. That's the choice I'm making.
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