At work today, I was in a bit of a holding pattern, waiting as my editor cut new voiceover tracks into our episode. So, I did what most people do in a time like this: logged into Facebook. Lo and behold there's an e-mail from one of the women organizing my impending 20 year high school reunion. And this is what I see:
We have been contacted about our class starring in "High School
Reunion" on TV Land... you get 2 weeks of vacation on some tropical
island this summer! If you are interested, go to http://www.oprf90.com/reunion_on_tv.html and read the information there.
My jaw dropped. I was flabbergasted.
Lemme break down the reasons why this particular offer is so stunning to me:
(1) My Job. While I still consider acting "The Career", reality television has put food on my table for many years now. I like it, I enjoy it; hell, I watch it at home. I enjoy it. So, since I work "in the biz" and specifically in this genre, it never even crossed my mind that I would ever get such an offer. Ever.
(2) The Show. The strangest aspect of this offer is the show itself. Back in 2002, I was a logger. And one of the first shows I logged on was the inaugural season of... High School Reunion. I fucking worked on this show. As a logger, I sat in a room for 9 hours a day, documenting every action and conversation of the cast into a database. How weird is that? It's like if someone said I should go on a show to try to date a high-maintenance cheerleader or help makeover a room in a friend's house or something. The idea that I would put myself into a show that I used to work on, knowing how that show is put together, is just so mindbogglingly meta that I feel my head is going to implode.
(3) My School. The first season of High School Reunion aired on this old network called The WB, so it focused on a 10 year reunion. That season? Dealt with MY HIGH SCHOOL. Yes, a different year (Class of '92), but I did know two people in it. That was weird in and of itself. The show has now moved to TV Land, and since they skew older, the show now focuses on 20 year high school reunions. Which is why they are apparently hitting my school. It was strange enough to log footage of two people that I knew from high school; it would be weirder to actually interact with people from high school with a camera crew on us the whole time. So strange.
To sum up, I have an offer to go to a reunion with people from my high school for a reality show I used to work on about people from my high school gathering for a reunion. Throw in some dilithium crystals and a TARDIS and the universe would collapse in on itself. Well, at least mine would.
There is no way in hell I'd participate. I know how the sausage is made; hell, I help make the sausage. I've worked on reality show sets, I know what everyone does. I've been the one asking the manipulating questions, knowing how I am going to use the footage from the field in post-production. I could never be a mere contestant or participant on this show, knowing full well what they can and do to me when they put the show together. As a story producer, my job is to take that footage and make it dramatic... or funny... or touching. And frequently, that's going double-barrel after the participants if the story demands it.
Keeping all that in mind, no; no way, no how, I'd never appear on a reality show. And especially not High School Reunion. If I was story producing it, the easiest story I'd put me in is The Gay Guy Who's Now Out and Proud, Back To Show Those Phobic Douches I Made Something Of Myself. The fact that I can do that so quickly proves that I should never be on a reality show. Now, hosting a reality show is something I'd consider.
To wrap up, no, I'm not going to apply to be on High School Reunion. But if they do use my Class of '90 for the new season, I'm DEFINITELY going to watch. I'd TiVo that shit in a heartbeat.
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