Jeez Jon

Earl

I could start this off with some witty rejoinder or some long-winded set up but instead, I'll just say it.  Tom's father Earl passed away yesterday at the age of 79.  He was a great man.  From the moment he laid eyes on me, he was warm and accepting.  Earl left behind his loving wife of 51 years, 6 children, 18 grandchildren and 10 great-grandchildren.  This is a blow to all of us.  I'm still reeling from it, to be honest. 

It's Not Me, It's You

Breaking up with anyone is difficult, whether it's your spouse, a boyfriend or girlfriend or a friend.  Breaking up with an agent is its own mess.  The decision to do so has to be done with the cold dispassion of a surgeon, but the actual doing requires the skills of a psychologist, a hostage negotiator and Conan the Barbarian.  I've fired 3 agents in my lifetime; after today, the count goes up to four. 

The first two were in Chicago.  You can be "multi-listed" (signed with multiple agencies) or "exclusive" (just one) as an actor in the Windy City.  I had decided to go exclusive with a small start up agency with the man I now call Evil Swine.  So, as I was with two other agencies in town at the time, I had to drop the axe on the two of them.  The first one was pretty professional about it -- they made some sad faces and laid on a few guilt trips.  The second one?  Not so much.  I went into their office and got to the main agent there, Liz.  I told her that I was leaving to go exclusive with another agency and I came to pick up my headshots.  She then lit into me. 

Liz: Well, that's just great, Jon.  After all the hard work we've done for you. After all the stuff we got for your reel.  This is the thanks we get.  Well, congratulations!

I looked at her, and in that moment, I realized I made the right decision.

Me:  Liz, thank you very much for all of your work on my behalf.  Have a great day.

I turned and left and didn't look back. 

Many working/struggling actors will tell you that a good TV/Film agent is the Holy Grail out here in Los Angeles.  Mine was... okay.  Not that great, but not awful, either.  Back in 2000, before the terms "hanging chad", "9/11", and "You are the weakest link" entered our vernacular, I was a very struggling actor out here in La-La Land.  Evil Swine had me and several of his other managerial clients at one agency (I'll call them the Hasseldorf Agency for right now) and he wanted us out.  He got me signed to a new commercial agency and told me to leave Hasseldorf by any means necessary, including lying.  Hasseldorf never signed me to a contract, so leaving them should have been easy.  I went in there ready for a fight, and Mr. Hasseldorf was not happy about me going.  So then, I busted out the tears, saying that I felt horrible about going, but it was for the best.  He bought it and off I went.  It was some of the best acting in my entire life.  Hasseldorf then tried to steal money from me, but that's a story for a completely different post. 

Now, there I was, without a TV/Film agent.  My buddy Sean was working at a small agency in the Valley called Ladder and Associates (not their real name).  They needed someone to come in and do some data entry. Since I typed 70 wpm and I needed a day job, I said yes.  So, several days a week for a few weeks, I went into Ladder & Associates office, doing data entry of theater venues across the US and Canada into a clamshell iMac in a small one room office of this agency.  Then, one day, one of the agents turned to me and said "hey, can I submit you for a two-line role on this sitcom?" And I said "Sure!"  To give you some perspective, here's what Jill looks like:

Ok, so I'm exaggerating a bit.  Jill doesn't have nearly as many tentacles.  

Anyway, that started my long relationship with Ladder and Associates.  Jill had been my TV/Film agent since then. In those eight years, my career... well, sputtered.  I'd get some auditions here and there, booking some small roles in some indie films or some co-star bit roles in some TV shows.  That would be fine if all those bookings happen in, say, 2 years.  But stretched out over 8 years?  Not good. 

I'd been thinking about leaving for a while, and it came to a head about six weeks ago.  They sent me out on an audition for a pilot presentation, which is like a pilot TV show, except shorter.  And much, much cheaper.  The role?  A 20 year old college student; not 20-something, I mean 20. Like, not-old-enough-to-drink 20.  Now, I do look young for my age, but I'm not 20.  And I definitely don't look 20 when I'm auditioning against actual 20 year olds.  After my good audition, I was walking to my car, chewing all of this over.  This was the first TV audition I'd had in a long time, and it was for a pilot presentation.  That was never going to air.  Paying $100 a day.  For a role I'm too old for.  Yeah, no.  On my drive back to work, I was thinking about my time with Ladder.  In those 8 years, I'd read for 2 big movies, 1 guest star role, some TV roles, and some indie films.  The indie films I got because of the leg work I did; I found those auditions myself and submitted myself.  That's when I knew I had to change things up.

See, working in the industry, I know the ups and downs pretty well. More and more celebrities are doing TV, which is pushing the whole acting pool down, making roles more difficult to get for everyone.  The WGA strike really messed things up as well.  And I get that.  But at the same time, TV shows are still shooting, films are being made, and there are roles out there for me.  I know myself very well and I know the types of parts I can play and they are out there.  And I wasn't getting them.  I've been taking classes, meeting casting directors, hell, even making my own award-winning film, and they weren't getting me out.  So, it was time for a change.  

Sean had left Ladder & Associates 3 years ago to form is own agency.  So, at their 3 year anniversary party last week, I went, congratulated him on his success and then asked him about me coming over to his agency.  We set up a time and over lunch yesterday, discussed me coming over and he was all for it.  You would even say he was excited.  Now that was set up, I had to then drop the axe on Ladder. 

I went into Ladder's office during my lunch hour today, ready for anything. Ever the good actor, I memorized my lines of what I would say, but girded myself for anything.  I walked through their door and to Jill's office.

Jill: Jon. How are you?

Me:  All right.  Can we talk a minute?

Jill: Of course. 

I closed the door.

Jill: You have that look on your face.

Me: I do.  I've been thinking things over lately.  And--

Jill: You want to leave.

Okay, memorized lines out the window. I then shifted into extemporaneous mode.

Me: I do.  I feel that I've... I've been spinning my wheels for a while now.  I think it's time for a change.

Jill: Okay. You know, a lot of people don't quite understand that the industry is really different now. And they'll leave and say to me "Oh, I want a change."

Me: I do. I know the industry is different now.

Jill: You know I submit you a lot.  You know I push for you.

Me:  Uh-huh. [Inner Monologue: Well, a lot of good that's doing, considering I'm not getting the auditions, which is your job.] I do appreciate all of the hard work you have done on my behalf.

Jill: If you've made up your mind already, I'm not going to try to convince you.

Me: Good. I think it's for the best.

Jill: You've been with us a long time.

Me: Yeah. [Inner Monologue: Way too long. You take me for granted. I deserve better than this and you know it.] 

Jill: I'll get your headshots.

Jill then called her assistant Niki on speaker phone.  Answering another line, Niki put Jill on hold.  Embarrassed, Jill turned off the speaker phone. 

Me: I can go get 'em. They're right around the corner, right?

Jill: No, no, I'll get 'em. 

Jill and I then go into the next room to a cabinet full of cubby holes, each with a different actor's name on them.  In each cubby hole is the actor's headshots.  My cubby hole was very full of not-sent-out pictures. 

[Inner Monologue:  You really push for me, huh?  Riiiiiiiiiight.]

Jill handed the headshots to me.  And then?  We hug.  Weird, I know, but fitting.  She then leads me to the front room to give me my reels that are remaining. 

Jill [coldly]: Okay. Bye. 

Jill turned away from me back to the cabinet where the reels are, and started rearranging them.

Me: Oh. Okay, bye. 

I turned and walked out the door. 

While it was awkward and uncomfortable, it was totally the right decision. I can't wait to start working with Sean.  What I do know is I've been wanting to switch agents for years. I've had that feeling in my gut, and every time I go with my gut, I'm right.  Right now, my gut is telling me that this is right, that this is the way to go.  I am very excited for this next chapter of my career.

A Pox On All Seven Of Your Houses

John McCain was recently asked how many houses he had, and he couldn't remember, saying his staff would get back to the reporter about it.  Uh, dude, they are your houses.  Shouldn't you know that by now?  Thankfully, Obama jumped on this pretty quickly:

More stuff like this, please.  Hammer McCain on how out of touch he really is. 

Attacking The Argument

New Gaymer Mafia podcast!  Part one of a series, Tom and I take on Orson Scott Card's anti-gay marriage rant.  I've already visited this, but Tom and I break down Card's loopy rationale.  

Ender? Ended

The first Christmas present Tom ever got me was the Ender's Game triology: Ender's Game, Speaker for the Dead, and Xenocide.  These are three great sci-fi novels, full of fun action, intriguing characters and lots of philosophical meaning.  We even had the author, Orson Scott Card, sign the books in the mid-90's.  Now, I knew at the time that Mr. Card was a Mormon. Besides the occasional guest starring appearance by Donny and/or Marie on Fantasy Island, my only real exposure to Mormonism was Tony Kushner's fantastic Angels In America.  So, I asked him about it during the signing, merely curious.

Mr. Card: I know enough about it to not read it.

Me: Ok, just curious.  Thanks for the signing!

Mr. Card: No prob.

I haven't read anything from him since.  Or thought about him.  Until today, when I heard about his rabid tear against gay marriage.  This is how his op-ed ends:

How long before married people answer the dictators thus: Regardless of law, marriage has only one definition, and any government that attempts to change it is my mortal enemy. I will act to destroy that government and bring it down, so it can be replaced with a government that will respect and support marriage, and help me raise my children in a society where they will expect to marry in their turn.

Biological imperatives trump laws. American government cannot fight against marriage and hope to endure. If the Constitution is defined in such a way as to destroy the privileged position of marriage, it is that insane Constitution, not marriage, that will die.

Oh man. Really? I thought the whole point of having laws is to put order onto the chaos unbridled "biological imperatives" can bring.  The fact that Mr. Card is perfectly willing to dump the Constitution over same-sex marriage and to "act to destroy" the "government and bring it down, so it can be replaced with a government that will respect and support marriage" just floors me. He also claims that he's not homophobic and has the "love the sinner, hate the sin" approach to the "homosexuals."  Which is just insulting.  First of all, he doesn't "love" me.  He don't even flippin' know me.  I'd take the word "respect" if I felt that he and his bigoted ilk actually mean it, but don't throw the word "love" at me about this.  Love is what is at the center of this debate.  I actually can respect his marriage to his wife and understand that her love her, but he don't give the same back to me and my spouse.  Or to millions of LGBT Americans across this country.  We do love our spouses and want to stay with them, have the protections that legal marriage brings.  No, we aren't perfect and yes, we make mistakes just like the heteros.  Gays aren't threatening marriage; rapid divorce rates amongst the straights are.  Focus on that first, Mr. Card, then come talk to us gays.

Obviously, since I was a fan of his work, this kind of screed does disappoint me.  A lot.  While I won't go so far as to burn the copies of the Ender's Game trilogy we have the house, but this may mean I might donate them.  To Out of the Closet.

[Thanks to Pam's House Blend for the head's up]

Gold Medal, Gold Piece, What's the Diff?

After a two month respite, the Gaymer Mafia is back with a new podcast!  In this episode, Tom and I muse on awards, rewards, experience points and the Olympics.  Trust me, it's all related. 

Maintenance

I'm at that point of year where I don't have a lot of things going on.  Oh, I'm working, going to the gym, watching DVD's, hanging out with tom, but nothing really... exciting.  I've had a lack of auditions lately, so I've been occupying my time with errands. Got my oil changed, got my teeth cleaned (no cavities, no fillings thus far), got the dry cleaning, got my hair cut, blah blah blah.  I mean, really, who cares?  So, I've been trying to just wait out this dry period by keeping busy. I'm actually reading again (or rereading Second Foundation) and helping declutter the apartment. 

So, no big news to report right now.  And I don't want to burden you with a lot of minor news 'cause frankly, that would bore me silly.  Keep posted and I'll try to keep things lively.

Pedal For A Good Cause

My friend Jamie is participating in 2008 MS Bike Tour.  This is very personal for her, as her father has been living with the disease for over 20 years.  So do everyone a favor and check out her site and donate whatever you can.

My Head Sounds Like This: Right On Track

My good friend TJ made Tom and I 37 mix CDs for Christmas.  Yes, you read that right.  He went in 5 year increments (1972, '77, '82, '87, up to 2007), making several discs of music from each year.  Well, on my way into work this morning, I was playing one of the '87 discs and lo and behold, one of the songs was Breakfast Club's only big US hit, "Right on Track".  Besides this song, the only other claim to fame for the band (besides the John Hughes movie of the same name) is that both Madonna and Randy Jackson were former members. "Right on Track" has been running through my head all morning, so I thought I'd subject the rest of you to it too.  And here's the video. Oh dear:

It's just so... 80's. Cameos from Angelyne and Wink Martindale?  Really?  And the knockoff Pee Wee Playhouse set? The backup dancers dressed up as chickens? So cheesy and just so ridiculously awesome. I can't help but be caught up in the silliness.

41 Down, 60 To Go

41. See a movie at the Hollywood Forever Cemetery.

For the uninitiated, the historic Hollywood Forever Cemetery has a summer movie series.  They project the film on the back of one of a masoleums with a DJ spinning tunes beforehand.  The viewers sit on a huge lawn in front of the masoluem, where you can bring picnic dinner and booze.  The movie we saw over the weekend?  The lovely 60's sci-fi sex classic, Barbarella. 

I've seen Barbarella before, but seeing it in such a unique setting was just too good to pass up.  Three of our friends joined Tom and I for the screening.  While it was crowded, it wasn't the massive throng I was expecting.  While I was bummed I forgot my camera, there are pictures of the event, as Defamer had an operative blog about the event.  I do resent being lumped into the "hipster parade" group, but it was a lot of fun to be there with a bunch of fans, laughing, hooting and hollering. 

My other bone to pick with Defamer is that they claimed that they had the best spread.  Oh, I beg to differ.  Tom had whipped up a themed menu for our picnic delight.  Keeping with the loose (hetero) sex in Barbarella, Tom made cold penis noodles (a combo of spaghetti noodles with actual penis-shaped French pasta in a delicious peanut sauce), four-way bean salad, Blueball martinis (martinis with blueberry juice and dried blueberries), A View To A Dill spread (in honor of bad guy Duran Duran), and of course, a tossed salad.  So, in your face, Defamer.  We out Top Chef-ed you. All and all, a great fun time.