As previously mentioned, I have been working out more regularly lately. I'm one of those people who usually has to work out in the mornings, especially during the week. If I don't go in the morning, I will make up every excuse not to go. I can't bring myself to work out after work; I am usually too hungry and too fried to think of working out. And, by working out in the morning, it's over and done with and I have the whole rest of the day ahead of me. So, it's been beneficial.
Since it's becoming part of my pattern to work out at the same time and place, I've noticed there are other people who do the same. I've been recognizing the same people during my time on the elliptical or when I'm doing lunge walks in the empty aerobics room. When Tom and I worked on The Bachelor, our gym fortunately had a branch in the same office complex. So, we'd work out in the mornings, then off to work. During that time, we had come up with a whole pantheon of nicknames for the regulars there. So, let me share them with you now, and then move on to the nicknames of my new gym routine.
(Old Jeez Jon fans may recognize I did a post like this several years ago. I would have linked to it, but due to diary-x.com's complete crash of their system, I can't.)
The Gazelle: This 30-something woman would power through on the elliptical trainer, with her legs flying up and down, with an amazing amount of grace
Mr. Sheen: An amazingly fit guy in his 30's, he had a body like Michelangelo's David, and perfect hair. He wouldn't sweat, he would just kinda glow. He was so good-looking I would schedule my workout to not be in the locker room when he'd be in there, 'cause I just couldn't trust myself not to stare at the pretty.
Captain Creepy: This is a guy who would linger waaaaaay too long in the shower while touching himself. Even grosser than is sounds.
The Alderman/T.I.T. (Troll In Training): This gregarious, somewhat overweight fellow in his 40's seemed to know everyone at the gym and gabbed with everyone. Captain Creepy was his nemesis and The Alderman and I had a couple conversations where he talked about having Creepy being booted from the gym. Tom got a trollish vibe from him; I found him more chatty than anything else.
B.B.G. (Balding Buff Guy): This surly guy had a bodybuilder's physique and rotweiler's demeanor. I steered clear of him, especially when he'd get growler working the lat bar.
Allan Quartermain: Named after the fictional explorer, this 60-year-old with a think white beard would wear thin tanktops and would only use the weights.
Mr T.: Okay, well, this isn't a nickname. One day, Tom and I were on ellipticals, and he got my attention.
Tom: Hey. [pointing over to a guy in thick gray sweatpants, and a gray hoodie pulled over his head] That guy over there is Mr. T.
Jon: Really? Doesn't look like Mr. T.
Then someone came up to the gray sweats man, and I hear in a deep gravelly voice "Hey fellah, how you dooooinnn'?!" Yeah, it was Mr. T.
So, four years later, I'm now working at the gym closest to my house. It's small, but serviceable. Unlike the Hollywood branch, people at my gym are actually there to work out and not using the place like singles bar with Nautilus equipment. I don't have to wait very long to use a cardio machine, and there are plenty of weight machines around. It's pretty well maintained. There's enough eye candy around to help with motivation but not so much as to be intimidating to the non-athletic.
Vin Weasel: This late-20's latino guy has some tats going and a relatively fit body. He also looks a lot like Vin Diesel, but is probably taller. Nickname aside, he seems like a nice fellow.
Mr. Clean 2.0: The assistant manager of the gym, he works out every morning, usually working out with Armenian Douchebag Gym Sales Associate (see below). Lean, in great shape and a shaved head, he looks like a trimmer version of the famous cartoon cleanser salesman. Sans the genie earring.
ADGSA (Armenian Douchebag Gym Sales Associate): Name kinda says it all, doesn't it?
Dr. Creepenstein: This elderly gentleman has a habit of doing a light workout and then sitting in the men's sauna for a long period of time, peering through the glass door to the men's showers. While wearing his glasses. No inappropriate touching... as far as I know. If I catch sight of him, I usually speed through my shower and get out as expediently as possible.
The Dyed Duo: This married couple in their late 50's work out together every morning, and they usually arrive when I'm leaving. The guy is a former bodybuilder who wears very loose-fitting tank tops. The wife is a fit woman with a big nose and a fashion magazine permanently affixed to her left hand. And both of them? Have major dye jobs. Hers is a fluorescent auburn that verges on purple; his an obscenely bright plantinum blond. Not the most attractive colors, but they are kinda cute together. Kinda.
The more people I recognize, the more nicknames I'll come up with. In the meantime, I should probably go work out. Let's pray Dr. Creepenstein doesn't show up.
Okay, the creepy duo? EW. Ew ew ew ew ew.
Posted by: katie d | July 23, 2008 at 03:11 PM