Between the tour for the movie last year and my recent trip to visit the family, I've done a lot of flying in the past year and a half. During all of this travel, I've come up with my flying routine. And the following, what I'd like to call, my Aero Manifesto.
- Carry On Luggage. I can understand that you can bring on one personal item and one carry-on item allowed by Homeland Security, but honestly, do you really need both? Every time I fly, my small messenger bag is my sole carry on. In it, I pack at least one book, some gum, a pen, Sudoku or crossword puzzle, my Discman (I don't have an iPod, sue me), some CDs, pens, and whatever travel itinerary is needed for the trip. By using such a small bag, I can shove it under the seat in front of me with still having room for me to stretch out.
- Following Directions. FAA rules say that you have to follow what the flight crew says to you. These rules are to help ensure everyone's safety on the flight. So, Jerkhole on my American Airlines flight from Chicago to LA who got yelled at for getting your bag out of the overhead compartment during takeoff? You deserve to have gotten yelled at by the flight attendant. Also, when the plane lands and the flight attendant says to wait until the captain turns off the "Fasten Seat Belt" sign before you unfasten your seat belt, he/she says that for a reason as well. 'Cause the plane still has a while to taxi to the gate, tools. It always infuriates me when I see these impatient dolts jumping out of their chairs as the plane is still taxiing to the gate. Grrr....
- Supply Your Own Entertainment. The approved-for-all-audiences flight entertainment might not necessarily be your cup of tea. While my niece Alli really enjoyed 27 Dresses, I didn't on my flight (or at least what I saw of it with the sound off on the monitors). So, hence, I bring the book, the CDs, the Sudoku.
- Some Crying Is Okay. During my travels, I've had my fair share of kids and babies on my flights. Guess what? Babies will cry during take off and landing, so deal. I usually am prepared for the worst from kids, but I've been fortunate in my recent travels where the babies have been very well behaved. Crying from adults, however? That depends...
- Food. Every hack comic does the bit about how bad airplane food is because it's mostly true. But on most of the domestic flights I've been on lately, that hasn't been much of a problem... 'cause there hasn't been any food. Yes, I can pay $3 for a pack of oversalted potato crisps on the plane, but I don't consider that a meal. So, I'll bring something on from the food court area. I mean, dude, really? You expect me to pay $4 for a small chocolate chip cookie? Don't think so. So, fight the power and bring in your own snacks.
These personal guidelines have always steered me right, even when things go wrong, like delayed flights. I'm one of those weird types who really enjoys flying. I find it amazing that we as humans can go such large distances in a such a fantastic manner. Even though I may get rather cranky on long flights, I would rather spend 4 hours flying to visit my family then spend a few days driving there. I've done both, and even though the road trip was a good experience, I'd rather fly there so I can spend more time with my loved ones. And with the Aero Manifesto, I can do it with my sanity intact.
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