I've found my rudder, it seems. This has been a very strange year for me. 2006 was a year where I seriously questioned what the hell I was doing and then got my mojo back. I was lost, then was found. Was blind, but now I see, etc. And a few signs have pointed me to the right direction.
I'm going back to Urban Basic Cable Competition Show (UBCCS) with neither the raise nor the promotion that I had originally wanted. But, I'm still maintaining my ability to come and go to auditions and shoots. When I had my chat with Line Prodcuer for UBCCS, I was pretty miffed... mostly because once again, my precious ego was bruised. Me, not promoted?! Wha-what?! While nursing said bruised ego, I told my former boss who was outraged about what happened. She said she would try to get me onto the next show she was working on, and I was very touched and a bit excited. About two weeks went by when, out of the blue, she e-mailed me asking for a copy of my resume. She had just been hired on as a Supervising Producer on a new show, and they were hiring people to work on it, and she wanted to get me in as soon as possible. So, I sent her my resume, and we exchanged a few e-mails about how she would try to get me an interview, etc. Well, about a week later, I got a call from the Co-EP (co-executive producer) of this show, wanting an interview. I went in the next day, rather nervous but curious about what they could offer me. It turns out the job was for an Associate Producer position -- which meant if I took the job I would have to be on set for the entire shooting process of the reality show and then go to Post. Which I had never done before. New? Yes. Possibly exciting? Sure. Meaning I would miss out of a month of auditions right at the beginning of Pilot Season? Absolutely, and that's the problem. The Co-EP was a very polite, wonderfully friendly, professional woman. We clicked really well, and the interview moved at a nice clip until I told her I was indeed an actor, and her face sunk faster than the Lusitania. I assured her that this can be worked around, and that I had never in my history in working in reality tv had I ever missed a deadline. (Katie will back me up on this... right, Katie?) The interview ended a few minutes later and I went off to Target for some X-Mas shopping.
The entire time during the interview I felt a pull in my stomach -- something just did not feel right about this. I called and left Old Boss a message, telling her how the interview went. As I entered Target, Old Boss called back, saying she was just on the phone with the Co-EP, checking up on me and seeing if what I said about me missing deadlines were true, etc. I told Old Boss how thankful I was to her about getting me in for this interview and looking out for me in this way.
Me: But, to be honest with you, I'm not sure if I want this.
Old Boss: Well, I don't want you to burn a bridge with [Production Company that does UBCCS].
Me: Me neither.
Old Boss: Look, you need to make the decision that's right for you. That's the most important thing here.
I went on with the rest of my shopping with this hanging over my head. Is this what I really want to do? Miss out on an entire month of auditions? Bow out of my acting class for the same period? Competely change my travel plans to visit my family and friends at home?
The next day, the Co-EP called me, and offered me the job. She said she didn't know what the money situation was, that the EIC [Executive In Charge of Production] would be calling me with the actual offer, and hoped that it would be favorable for me. She also added that she would understand if I didn't take it if the terms weren't to my liking. The EIC called me 5 minutes later, and made me the offer. He told me how long the job would be for, what the shooting schedule and Post schedule was, and where their offices were (like, 10 minutes from my apartment). And then, it happened. Right when he was about to say how much the show paid per week, my other line on my cell phone clicked in. It was my Commercial Agency with an audition. The price of me doing this show was to lose my auditions, and that wasn't something I was ready to do. I let my commercial agency to go voicemail and then got the EIC to repeat the offer. It was more than I'm making at UBCCS. I told him I'd think it over and call him back. After 5 minutes of sitting and talking it over with Tom, I called him back, got his voicemail, and said no, thank you.
Now, if I didn't have another job lined up, I would have taken this job. Sure, it would have sucked to not audition for a month, but with only X amount left in my unemployment, not having money to pay the bills would have sucked more. But, the thing is, I do have another job lined up, and one that allows me to luxury to say no. I said no because giving all that up would have been too much for me at this time. After I hung up, I felt so relieved. That sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach went away. This was the decision that was right for me. And I really didn't know at the time how right I was.
Typically, auditions around the holidays are practically non-existent. Usually, things slow down in Hollywood around Thanksgiving and don't really pick up again until mid-January. Ever since Thanksgiving, however, I've been averaging 2 auditions a week. I'm not complaining, mind you, it's just odd. I've read for several commercials, a sitcom, and 2 indie films. The last audition I had was last Thursday for one of these indie films -- a horror film to be exact. The role doesn't involve a lot of dialogue but a good deal of screentime. The audition itself was me improvising a small serious scene. I went in, did it, got a couple compliments and then left. This morning I get an e-mail for an offer -- I got the role. I'm going to be shooting for 4 days... in the middle of January, right when Tom and I get back from visiting our friends and family. Oh, and right when Old Boss's show will be shooting, when the job I turned down will be at its worst. Needless to say, I'm psyched on several levels. I talked with my agent this morning, after having her earn her 10% talking with film producers about the gig.
Film Agent: Well, this is a great way to start the New Year.
Me: You're telling me!
In addition to this great Christmas Present and the wonderful stuff I got from my folks (great clothes!), Tom (80's CDs! Chocolate! R. Kelly's Trapped in the Closet!) and our friends (T-Shirts! Dice! Fresh potted rosemary and basil! Amy Sedaris Likes Me!), my awesome Uncle Al sent me a very generous Visa Gift Card in the mail. Like, really generous. While thoughts of me having a Katrina & The Waves'-scored shopping spree filled my head, I came to my senses and buckled down and did something good with it. I start working with a personal trainer tomorrow. So, hopefully, within a few months, I'll be slimmed down, leaner, and will fit better into my clothes. This can only help me with it comes to auditions and the like. I'm following the little signs around me and it's pointing to a possibly positive 2007.
And, I just want to say, thank you, everyone, for being so supportive of me. I feel like I'm back on track now. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to gorge on some chocolate since I probably won't be able to have any for a while.
Good Job!!!!!
I know it was hard...but stick to it...this is definitely your year!
Incidently I hope it is my year too...at least for my book.
I like the trainer thing..you will really get focused. And if you are getting auditions during these slow months..what will be happening during Pilot season!!!!
MOM
Posted by: J Bard-Collins | December 29, 2006 at 01:54 PM
yes, indeed, i can heartily verify you have never missed a deadline due to auditioning, AND you make up all your time by coming in early and staying late. you are very conscientious. and congratulations! :)
Posted by: katied | January 02, 2007 at 07:46 PM
also, your mom is right. :)
Posted by: katied | January 02, 2007 at 07:47 PM