It's award season again out here in Los Angeles. This means that every studio in town trots out free screenings (or screeners) to members of different Guilds and voting bodies to promote their films and help to garner accolades from us to help steer their projects for awards and (ultimately) a better bottom line for their shareholders. As a member of one such Guild (the Screen Actors one, to be specific), I've been invited to a bunch of screenings lately. When these first started, I wanted to see every last picture on account of giving them all a fair shot and also, hey, free movie. But honestly, the selection this year is pretty... skimpy. There are not a lot of films that I'm seriously jonesing to see. I don't care how many invites I get, I'm not going to see Apocalypto. Or Flags Of Our Fathers. And really, We Are Marshall? Yet another big Texas high school football movie? Don't think so. I mean, if it features an indestructible cheerleader, then maybe I'll see it.
One feature of these free screenings that helps to entice us voters to schlep out to the Pacific Design Center on a Saturday Night is the prospect of doing a Q & A with some of the people involved in the film. I'll be honest with you: even though I've lived in L.A. for 7 years now, I still like seeing celebrities, so this hook does have a tendency of working. My only problem with these Q's and A's isn't the celebrities; it's the asinine questions from pretentious actor types that they have to sit through. That is the reason why I don't like to watch Inside the Actor's Studio; the last thing I want to do is sit through the live version.
Tom and I went to a screening of The Queen at the Arclight. The Q & A featured Michael Sheen and Helen Mirren. Yes, Helen Mirren. Not only did she kick serious ass in the film, she was just luminous in person. She is simply gorgeous in person. One of the best questions someone asked her was about her makeup process. She said it was 5 minutes long; she had a great wig person, but she did her own makeup and the rest was simply how she held her head, face, and neck. (If you are a Viewpoints devotee, this would fall under Shape). That made me love her even more. The worst question? The very first.
Sycophant Woman In Front Row: I've seen the movie twice already and I just absolutely love how you were able to show so many different emotions. You two showed fifteen different types of grief, ten types of frustration, twelve kinds of...
In the middle of my eyerolling, the guy sitting next me to gets up and starts to leave.
Guy Next To Me [muttering under his breath]: Fuckin' actress...
It took a lot of energy to completely stifle a laugh. My friend Jen went with me to screenings of The History Boys and Breaking and Entering, both were on the same Saturday. First was History Boys -- a movie so amazingly uneven, it could have been edited with a Zamboni. The scenes alternate from being exquisitely acted and fully of life to being dreadfully dull with painfully bad dialogue and some amazingly forced acting. (The film's rather archaic view of homosexuality is rather disturbing in and of itself.) At the end of the film, I turned to Jen.
Me: You want to stay for the Q & A?
Jen [pointedly]: Uh... NO.
Breaking and Entering was the best of the lot, but rather disappointing for the Q & A. Why? Well, the advertised appearance of Jude Law didn't happen. The film's director, Anthony Minghella was there, and was pretty interesting, but needless to say, lacked the sex appeal of our favorite nanny-nailer.
My classmate Lindsey went with me to the screening of Hollywoodland -- a fast paced story trapped in a lethargic film. It's sloooowww, y'all. The acting is pretty solid, though, and Ben Affleck has done his best work in about 10 years. Adrien Brody (who's very good as the detective) was there for the Q & A, though. He was pretty charming throughout and was a very good sport. He answered questions about his research for the period, his choice of chewing gum in the film, how he approaches a script, etc. At one point, one guy raised his hand.
Pretentious Goateed Tool: So, a producer and a first-time director want to get you interested in their script for their low budget drama. How would you be receptive to them in getting to read their script?
Lindsey [to me, under her breath]: Why not just say "I have a script in my car, please do it!"
The nadir, however, was one woman who was standing by the exit.
Red-Haired Woman: You cried in the film. What was the incident from your past that you use in order to cry when you do a movie?
Adrien Brody: Well... like most actors, I think about something that happened to me in my past and use that to get to the emotional place I need to be for the scene.
Red-Haired Woman: No, I know. I mean, what specific incident from your past do you use in order to cry in the film?
Adrien Brody: You... want me... to tell you what happened to me what horrible thing I went through that helps me cry?
Red-Haired Woman: Well--
Adrien Brody: No, not in this Q & A, honey. No thank you. Next question?
I frankly felt embarrassed about being an actor at that point. I mean, seriously, respect a man's privacy, for cry eye. That is very personal, and I just don't understand the gall that she had to ask him that question. Just... embarrassing.
You can imagine with all of that having had happen, I'm not exactly chomping at the bit for sitting through some pretentious questions to Matthew McConaghey about his process while being a football coach after sitting through some true-life high school football drama full of false-uplift and arrogant tools. Hopefully, there will be a screening of Dreamgirls in my future. At least that'll have some musical numbers...
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