Jeez Jon

3 Down, 98 To Go

55. Go through and clean out my Yahoo address book of all the e-mail addresses I no longer need/want.

Done.  Well, that was easier than I thought. Took me less than 3 minutes. 

Jon On "The Fountainhead"

Roark: When  I listen to a symphony I love, I don't get from it what the composer got.  His 'Yes' is different from mine.  He could have no concern for mine and no exact conception of it. The answer is too personal for each man.  But in giving himself what he wanted, he gave me a great experience.  I'm alone when I design a house, Gail, and you can never know in which way I own it. But if you said your own 'Amen' to it -- it's also yours.  And I'm glad it's yours.

This passage, among many others from Ayn Rand's The Fountainhead stayed with me. I'm risking sounding either like a cult member or a total literary sycophant, but this book has really helped me and changed my outlook on things... slightly.  To paraphrase Roark, I own this book and the experience probably in a different manner than Ms. Rand intended, and since I'm fine with that, I'm sure she would be too. 

For those of you unfamiliar, The Fountainhead starts out as a study in contrasts of two students at an architectural college.  Peter Keating is a popular student who suppressed his desires to be a painter so he can find a more stable career, partially to appease his mother.  Peter's designs are capable and average.  Then there's Howard Roark.  He is aloof, unpopular, and has (at the time) outrageous ideas about architecture and sticks to his artistic principles over everything else.  Howard's stubborn nature and antisocial tendencies gets him in trouble at school and then later in the business world as he tries to make a living as an architect.  Conversely, Peter maneuvers himself into the most prestigious architectural firm in New York City and trades more on his charm than talent.

Ms. Rand sets up an intriguing question:  how does an artist survive in this society?  Does the artist completely submit his vision to his patrons/clients or does the artist completely stick to his guns and be true to his nature?  For a while this goes back and forth in a very scintillating manner.  Keating is far more relatable, since he vocalizes many of the insecurities we all have.  Am I good enough?  Should I be doing this?  When will they realize I'm making this up as I go along?  Roark maintains his standoffishness for long stretches of the book, making him a character you admire more than you like.  And then, that's when Ms. Rand introduces the love interest:  Dominique Francon. A love triangle of sorts then kicks in between the three of them, which starts out being more flirty and then ends up being more philosophical. (I'll try to avoid spoiling things for those of you who haven't read it)

What Ayn Rand says about Objectivism [her philosophy] in Fountainhead (or at least what I now *own* from it), the thesis of this book is that people need to be true to themselves.  There are some long speeches towards the end of the book, differentiating between what Ms. Rand calls "egotists" and "second-handers".   Egotists, according to Fountainhead, are those people who create.  Inventors, artists, designers, architects, writers, et. al. all are egotists.  They create because they need to.  Second-handers are those who live off of the egotists, since they create nothing and since they cannot, they have mixed feelings about egotists -- they hate the egotists because they are jealous, and vice versa.  Ms. Rand goes on and on (and on - the book is almost 700 pages long) about how egotists are better and purer, etc.  Egotists have their own better natures at heart so they can grow and improve and become better, while second-handers do what they can to have people not follow their desires, and therefore not encourage improvement amongst us as a people.

Now, I'm not a fascist enough to completely go along with this.  I've always believed that people who actually did things deserved more respect than those that don't.  There was a while during my first two years in college that I was seriously considering becoming a film critic.  At the time, I doing community theater as well.  The longer I was a film major, the less film classes I took and the more theater I did.  I then officially switched majors, and I haven't looked back.  If you make a literal breakdown of the word, actor is "one who acts, does."  A critic is one who sits and comments.  By this breakdown, an actor is an egotist and a critic is a second-hander, since he needs something to criticize. 

You all know me well enough now to know that I am a very goal-oriented person and am rather driven, so obviously this kind of philosophy does speak volumes to me.  But that also doesn't mean that people don't have value or mean less.  I firmly believe, down to the tips of my toes, that everyone has a reason for being here.  Whether it is being a critic, an artist, a mother, a lawyer, a doctor, a game designer -- whatever it is, people have a purpose.  Everyone has the right to pursue their dreams, their aspirations, and doing anything to deter those dreams is just wrong.  Everyone has talent and potential to do something with their lives. 

When you are true to yourself and what you want, it can be a more difficult path.  If what you really want to do is work at a non-profit organization helping battered women, it probably won't make you wealthy, but if it fulfills you, why not?  If you're doing it for you, then why give a rat's ass if your neighbors have a brand new TV, etc.? Conversely, if you really want to be a painter, steel yourself for the long periods of poverty so you do what you want.  As the cliche goes, you can't take your money with you when you go, so don't you think you should go with as few regrets as possible?  You do what do for yourself and no one else.  You do it because you have to and it fulfills you, and the influence of others shouldn't factor in.  Here's a summation of this from the book, between Roark and culture critic Ellsworth Toohey:

Toohey: Mr. Roark, we're alone here.  Why don't you tell me what you think of me?  In any words you wish.  No one will hear us.

Roark:  But I don't think of you.

Without spoiling too much, Toohey isn't fond of Roark's work, and has published some harsh articles about it.  But Roark doesn't care.  Roark is an architect because that is how he expresses himself, and he could give two shits what Toohey thinks.  He's happy that Wynand gets something out of his work, but he could take or leave public opinion. Wynand and Roark have long debates in the book, and at one point, Roark tells Wynand that while he would go into a burning building to save Wynand, "I could never live for you."

That is so very profound to me.  As a creative person, this speaks volumes to me.  Several times in my career, people have said told me to give up acting, to not act in L.A., to only give it a few years and then do something else, etc.  I honestly cannot think of anything else I'd rather do that fulfills me than be an actor.  I have other talents and skills, some of which can be fun, but none of them actually quenches my thirst, so to speak.  Katie once asked me if my true love asked me to choose between a life with him or acting, which would I choose?  Well, for me, it's a moot question.  If someone truly loved me, they would want me to be the best person I can be and to fulfill my dreams. So, by merely asking me the question, the answer is there.  Now, I can assure you, Tom has never asked me this.  He knows me well enough to know that this is what I want, and calls me on my crap when I get wussy about my career.  It takes a lot of work following dreams. It takes effort, work, blood, sweat, and tears.  But I'd rather fight this fight and go after what I want than be sitting in an office, scared out of my mind with the mere thought of trying to do it.

Now, I want to assure you all that I haven't suddenly become an uberright-wing whacko.  I believe in helping people.  I believe in charity. I believe in higher taxes for the wealthy.  I believe that no one is above the law.  I believe that everyone has to pull their own weight.  I believe in universal health care. I am pro-choice, pro-gay rights, and pro-gun control (though I don't believe that the majority of people who own guns are a bunch of nutjobs).  I believe in people having a level playing field -- that means everyone has to have the best education possible and access to the best resources we have.  I do think we need to encourage people to utilize their potential, and I do believe that those who do should be rewarded, if not necessarily for their benefit, but to show others that they too can achieve their dreams and goals. 

Er... I guess you might say I really liked The Fountainhead.  It helped crystallize a lot of ideas in my head.  It was one of the reasons that I kicked off my 101 in 1001.  It inspired me to get Atlas Shrugged.  I'll start reading that in about a week or two.  I think I'll do a graphic novel -- I need a mental sherbet to cleanse the palate. 

CW In The USA

So, the WB and UPN Networks are merging to form the Vultron of young-skewing television networks. [Link to put in later] This new mega-small network will have a mix of shows like AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL, GILMORE GIRLS, VERONICA MARS, and WWE SMACKDOWN. I have to admit -- the news of this really took me by surprise. It's a major shakeup, and kinda scary. This will now take the major broadcast networks down one, which will limit then the amount of shows on the air. They will take the best of both networks for the new combined Frankenstin CW network, so I don't think the high-rated GILMORE GIRLS and TOP MODEL will be leaving the airwaves any time soon.

I dunno. This is just... weird. I don't know how else to put it.

2 Down, 99 To Go

82.  Try eel sushi, even though it sounds very gross.

We had sushi last night, and I had what was called The Eel Special Roll.  It was actually quite good.  I tend to like the more meatier fish in my sushi (salmon, tuna, yellowtail), but this wasn't bad. 

Why Do I Have The Feeling We've Taken On Yet Another Pathetic Lifeform?

We have had a feline realignment in the Jon/Tom household. I've said many, many times how there are all these stray cats outside our building. One of these cats was nicknamed Floppy, due to her damaged outer ear. She apparently was a victim of an infection, which damaged her right outer ear, causing it to flop down instead of being a normal perky cat ear. Floppy got fixed on the same day as Boris, and was then going to be adopted out to a friend of Mitch's. Well, that friend reneged. And then another person said they'd take Floppy. And that person reneged. The thing is that after getting fixed, Floppy had decided she was an indoor kitty. She spent days going from apartment door to apartment door in our complex, meowing to come in. So, Monday night, Tom and I decided to take in Floppy and make her ours. While she isn't very affectionate with other cats, she is affectionate with humans. She actually slept in our bed with Tom and I last night, snuggling up with us. Floppy has a new home.

Now, I know what you're thinking.

YOU: Three cats?! You... you've become crazy cat people!
ME: Ahh, well... technically, yes.

Here's the skinny. Boris, the other recent cat acquisition, is bound and determined to be an indoor/outdoor cat. He has gotten out a couple times, and has been gone for days on end. The last time we got him back in our apartment was when Tom took him by force. Boris is very excitable and has oodles of energy, most of which meowing while staring out a window, wanting to go outside. So, Tom and I came to the decision to let Boris be Boris and be an indoor/outdoor cat. He's now mostly outdoor, but I think he'll come back in a bit. Besides, he's fixed, so he's not going to further the species.

Now the cat count is officially at 2.5. Floppy and Natasha have made a bit of a peace, as long as they aren't in the same room. And as long as they don't have any Alexis/Krystal fights in the apartment any time soon, I can live with that.

1 Down, 100 To Go

15. Finish reading Fountainhead.

Done.  Finished while on the flight home.  I'll do another post about it later -- I loved the book, while not totally ascribing to all of the philosophical points Ms. Rand made. 

ChiTown and CatUp

I'm in Chicago right now, typing this up on a computer in my parents' office in the basement of the house I grew up in.

Things are good right now, albeit busy.  Tom and I are going to be hanging with some friends at different points of the day today, and then after a possible brunch with other friends tomorrow, we're off to Peoria for a whirlwind tour of his family. Then we're back up here for another day and a half and then we're flying back to LA.

Oh, and Boris made a break for it on the day we left, which freaked Tom and I out, as you can imagine. However, last night, Very Cool Upstairs neighbor Mitch reported that he was at our front door, meowing to get back in.  So, he's now safe at home.  The little bastard.

My 101 in 1001

Getting some business out of the way, my mouth is doing much better.  The tube has been removed and I'm flushing my mouth out with some prescription-strength mouthwash. But, I'm better now, just so you all know.

It's the new year, and that usually means Resolution Time.  I've done some resolution posts in the past, but I've decided that this year, I'm going to up the ante.  2005 was a good year in many respects because it showed me how truly happy I was just being an actor.  Waking up, going to the gym, and then going to rehearsal and/or auditions and/or a shoot is an ideal for me.  2005 also had some major down points.  Before my year off, I was completely out of debt and had some money saved.  After my year off, I'm back in some moderate credit card that that I'm in the process of wrangling down (transferring balances to newer accounts with lower APR's is my first step).  The one-two punch of 2005 showing me the ideals and the consequences has really done a number on me.  So, with these effects in mind, I'm going to do some changes, and putting these goals into action is going to take far more attention than just a list of resolutions.  Inspired by other bloggers I read, the following is a list of 101 specific tasks I want to accomplish in 1001 days.  The criteria is this:  the tasks must be specific (i.e. no ambiguity in the wording) with a result that's either measurable or clearly defined.  Tasks must also be realistic and stretching (i.e. involving some amount of work on my part).  Ok, so, I am going to work to accomplish the following between today, January 1st, 2006 and September 26, 2008:

1. Lose 20 pounds and keep them off for two months.

2. Book a guest-starring role on a TV show, either Network or Basic Cable (like FX, etc.).

3. Book a supporting role in an independent film. Done as of June 29, 2006.  My friend and neighbor asked me to be in his indie sci-fi feature.  Pretty cool, huh?

4. Book a supporting role in a Studio film.

5. Book a national commercial. Booked the infomercial 9/29/06, shot it 10/24/06.  This will be airing nationally on cable, and it's basically an half-hour long commercial, so this counts.  Especially since I'll be getting some residuals.

6.  Book another national commercial. Done 12/3/07.  Superbowl spot, got cut out. 

7.  Book a third national commercial. Booked it 4/8/08.

8.  Aw, hell, let's do four.  Four commercials in almost 3 years is doable.

9. Get some private acting coaching.  Starting on February 4, 2006 in the AM. 

10. Do more casting director workshops.  Starting on February 4, 2006 in the afternoon.

11. Work out 4 days a week for a month. Done 7/26/08.  Finally. 

12. Knock out as many Netflix discs on my queue as I can in one week.

13. Not play videogames for a week. Done 12/17/06. Funny how prepping for the holidays and going on auditions makes you not have time to play XBox.

14.  Not watch TV for a week. (Fine, Tom, I'll try it)

15. Finish reading Fountainhead.  Completed 1/10/06 on the flight back from Chicago.

16.  Read Atlas Shrugged. What? It's a long book!

17. Organize all of the loose pictures we have into some photo albums.

18.  Give my car a thorough cleaning myself, including vacuuming.

19.  Completely clean out the trunk of my car. Done 8/19/06.  Took maybe 10 minutes.

20. Take a trip with Tom to New York.  Tom and I have a friend that lives in the East Village that has offered many, many times to let us crash with him.  I really don't have an excuse.

21. Visit my older brother Matt in Italy.  Done 10/3/06.  And I gots the pictures to prove it.

22.  Visit my younger brother Owen and his family in Virginia.

23.  Take a trip with Tom to a place where we don't know anyone, and therefore it would be like an actual vacation, God forbid. Finished 6/29/06.  Finally went to Vegas.

24. Purge the aparment of any remaining videotapes we don't need or aren't going to watch.  Copies of stuff for my reel, for instance, fall into the "Need" category. Done 3/24/07. 

25. Get my reel done.  Done February 9th, 2006.  It's in great condition and I'm quite proud of it.

26.  Purge the apartment of any clothes we haven't worn in two years. 

27. Go to a wine tasting. Done as of 11/11/07

28. Get my SAG insurance back.

29. Cut my credit card debt in half.

30. Spend two weeks at work not going out for lunch and actually bringing lunch, 'cause frankly, that shit adds up.  Done as of 8/13/07.

31. Memorize two contemporary comedic monologues to use at auditions.

32. Memorize one contemporary dramatic monologue to use at auditions (I already have another one).

33.  Memorize two classical monologues, one comedic and one dramatic, to use at auditions.  [Side note:  as an actor, I'm supposed to have these ready to do at a moment's notice.  The fact that I don't is so not good]

34. Spend a week making dinner for Tom -- this includes weekends.

35. Do the Raw tasting menu at the Inn of the Seventh Ray with Tom.

36. Spend a week not snacking out of boredom.

37. Take a yoga class. The one at the gym counts.

38.  Take some voice lessons.  You know, for like singing and stuff.

39. Have a physical. It's been ages.

40. Get a new suit.  Tailored and everything.

41. See a movie at the Hollywood Forever Cemetery. Done 8/4/08. Saw Barbarella. 

42. Listen to a new CD all the way through 3 times before taking a favorite track and playing it over and over and over like I usually do.  Done 7/13/06.  Madonna's live album "I'm Going To Tell You A Secret. 

43. Leave working a day job for good.

44.  Get my biteplate done so I don't grind my teeth in my sleep. Picked up February 24, 2006 in the AM.

45.  Do another play.

46.  Let's make that two.  Two plays in almost three years is doable.

47. Continue the At Home Film Festival and watch every DVD we have in our collection that I haven't seen in the past year or so.  We have a lot of DVDs, some of which are still in their shrinkwraps.  The seasons of Buffy and Angel don't count, since I have seen these recently. And have a lot of the episodes committed to memory.

48. Run two more arcs of my Dead of Night role playing game with my Sunday gaming group. [First arc completed: 7/11/06; 2nd arc completed 9/9/07]

49. Get a damn iPod already.

50. Take a week, while working the day job, and not have any caffiene.  No Diet Coke, no coffee, no tea. [Done July 13, 2008.  Headaches still lingering a bit.]

51. Finally get around to framing Matt's portrait of Tom.

52. Get a manicure. Why not?  I've had a pedicure. Done 6/28/06. Had a mani/pedi at a modest day spa in Vegas.

53. Have Sunday brunch in Chinatown.

54.  Go to Vegas.  We've been here for 6 years, and have never been.  I know.  Stop giving me that look. Completed 6/29/06.   

55. Go through and clean out my Yahoo address book of all the e-mail addresses I no longer need/want.   Completed on 1/29/06. Easier than I thought.

56.  Have a couples' massage with Tom at a swanky day spa.

57. Clean out the bathroom of all the extraneous crap we don't need. Completed 4/30/06. You'd be surprised how much stuff you can accumulate in one very small full bathroom.

58. Use the Crest White Strips for the allotted time, actually using each and every strip when I'm supposed to.

59. Utilizing the Entertainment.com book Mitch and Shane got us for Christmas, spend a month using those coupons to get some nice deals on meals... and stuff. No longer applicable - haven't had the book since 2006.

60.  Have brunch on Larchmont street.

61.  Go three times to a multiplex and decide when we're there what movie we'll see. [Ice Age: The Meltdown -- 4/18/06]

62.  See three movies in the theater we think we're going to hate, just to give them a shot.

63.  Spend a week not leaving any extra crap in our living room, hoping this habit will stick.

64. Take a helicopter ride around LA.

65. Read a biography. Done 10/01/07 . Dame Judi Dench's bio.

66. Do what I can to bring my credit rating up. Done roughly around 3/14/07.

67. Bake a cake without having a mini nervous breakdown. Done 6/23/06. For Tom's birthday. A lovely 2 layer chocolate cake.  The fact that it was both dairy-free and gluten-free is just a side benefit.

68. Bake a dessert from scratch.  Bake -- this doesn't mean "Ice Cream Sundae", Jon.  Like cupcakes or something. Done 12/31/07. A kiwi/strawberry vegan fruit tart.  Pretty and delicious.

69. Give up tortilla chips for Lent in addition to my usual potatoes. Done as of 4/16/06.  It was a bit of a struggle, but it paid off nicely.

70. Check out 5 books from the Public Library. And read them.

71.  Find out what my Credit rating is in the first place.  Done as of 6/7/06.  Thanks to a Credit report from one of my credit cards.

72.  Test for a TV Pilot.

73.  Go for a hike in Griffith Park.

74. Attend a concert at the Hollywood Bowl.

75. Visit MOCA.

76.  Spend a Saturday afternoon shopping in downtown LA.  Or at least window shopping.

77.  Have lunch at Barker's Alley in downtown LA.

78.  Do an Iron Chef night with some friends, taking one main ingredient and making a bunch of different dishes.

79.  Get that rip in my jeans fixed.  You know.  Those jeans. Threw the jeans out.  Wasn't going to wear them again anyway. 

80. Go back to that Indonesian restaurant by Culver City that was crazy delicious. Done August 6th, 2006.  Pretty good, but not as crazy delicious as I remembered.

81.  Give Napoleon Dynamite another try, since I gave up at the 50 minute mark.

82.  Try eel sushi, even though it sounds very gross. Completed on January 21, 2006.  Wasn't that bad, I have to admit.

83.  Go a week without swearing.

84.  Go see a concert. A rock and/or pop concert.   The last concert I went to was Bjork in 1998. 

85. Take 3 people I haven't e-mailed in a while, and try to keep up a regular correspondence with them. [Juliet on 8/4/06, Erik, Chuck -- done via Facebook 2/1/08]

86.  Go back to LACMA.

87. Attend a film festival.  Either as a patron or as a participant. Done as of 8/20/07. And we won.

88. Go apple picking at an orchard.

89.  Go to Griffith Park Observatory once it's reopened.

90. Floss every day for a month.

91.  Donate money to a charity in a non-holiday time period.

92.  Ship all the Buffy episodes I have on VHS to my brother Matt, since I have all of them on DVD anyway. Shipped out 4/21/06

93. Flesh out that idea I had for a political intrigue RPG game.

94. Go to Catalina.

95. Visit Napa Valley.

96. Get new bookcases for our gaming books. [Done 3/1/06 -- Tom took care of these a long time ago]

97.  Sell or donate any videogames we will never play again. Done 3/24/07.

98. Go out for afternoon tea.

99.  Host an afternoon tea.

100. Go a week without dairy.

101. Go out dancing with Tom one night. Done 4/27/07. At a club in Palm Springs.  So there.

Okay, there's the list.  101 things is a lot of stuff, so I better start now!