Jeez Jon

Network Notes On Speaker Boehner's Debt Crisis Speech

 

OVERALL:

Having done many numerous seasons of Strange Bedfellows: U.S. Federal Edition, we really do enjoy the plot twist of having the Speaker of the House give a rebuttal speech to the President's, even though this isn't the State of the Union.  In previous seasons of the show, we have never done that, even with Speaker Pelosi!  So, this is a great change of events that we think fans of the show would appreciate.

That being said, we do feel that we can bring out more from the speech.  With some edits, bites and cues, we feel that we can maximize Boehner's speech for comedy and drama.

SPECIFICS:

00:06    Please make sure to adjust the color levels during on-line.  It could be the low-res copy we have, but the Speaker's skin tone looks a few shades off of "Oompa-Loompa." Please bring this to the same color-correction lab that does Jersey Shore.

00:14    Keep it dry until here, then start patriotic music under Boehner's story of his small business.

00:38    Put a dramatic sting after "Those days are over!"

00:49    Can we put in a flashback from the State of the Union where the President asked for an increase in the debt ceiling?  Please use the blue filter on this.  Also, I know you said we didn't have Congress saying "Not so fast, Mr. President!" on camera a few times before.  Please double-check to see if this is true; it would give the speech a better impact if we could see the Speaker (or even Majority Leader Cantor) say it on camera.

01:02    Shift to a dark, mysterious music cue after he says "And here's what we got for that spending binge." Right now, it's playing flat and I'm losing interest.

01:10    Please put in a comedic sting on "fodder for late night comedians."  That way, people will know it's supposed to be funny.

01:34 - 01:52    Pull up this section; it's repetitive to what the Speaker was saying in the previous scene. I know we've done a lot of repetitive bites in other seasons, but this is too much even for us.

02:00    Just thinking out loud here, but should we change up our lower thirds?  The chyrons for the past 18 seasons have changed a bit. Maybe something new?  Let's discuss.

02:09    I know the Speaker here explains what the "Cut, Cap and Balance" Act will do, but I'm worried it won't be clear enough for our audience.  Please do a clarity pass on this; maybe a funnier button?

02:14    When the Speaker starts talking about his sincere efforts to communicate with the President, please shift the music to a more heart-felt, sincere tone.  Maybe the composer can do a sound-alike of The Fray's "How To Save A Life"? We do have some money in the budget for that. Please double check.

02:39    We've been staying on the same kind of shot for a long time now; do we have a wide shot of this?  I'd love to know the geography of the room we're in. 

02:54    Can we have the Speaker talk about how the closure of tax loopholes will kill jobs?  Not a huge note.

03:03    Can we see shots of the Speaker's children when he references them?  How can the audience know he has children unless we see them?  Please make sure they have signed releases.

03:11    Do we have another version of the Speaker saying "He wanted a blank check six months ago, and he wants a blank check today"?  He's been more emotional for us before -- remember the 60 Minutes Scene?  -- but here's he's so flat and dull.  Please do a comedy pass.

03:34    The Speaker here is referencing a bill that's going to pass later on in the week.  Do we have that?  If not, there will need to be a significant restructure of this scene. 

04:10    Add cymbal scrape after "The Constitution."

04:19    Instead of the Speaker talking about how the politicians shouldn't focus on trying to get re-elected, could you have him say something along the lines of "We're mad as hell and we're not going to take it anymore?"  That would be great.

04:32ish   I feel like we're on the same shot for a long time here.  Can we vary things up a bit?  Maybe a slow push-in would be good.  Be creative.

04:47    Add sad trombone effect after "running at full capacity".

04:55    Add triumphant music under the portion where he's talking about breaking the grip of debt. Should be an awe-inspiring, a-ha! moment.

05:10    End with a big swell of patriotic music, then use the new graphics of the donkey and elephant in the boxing ring.  

Thank you! Please call to discuss! 

Ain't That A Kick In The Head

You can check out my story producing prowess on this Sunday's episode of Jerseylicious on the Style Network.  And boy, is the episode a doozy.  There are guys bowling, women at singles mixers, two girls get into a fight where one's knocked unconscious and then she's kicked in the head, nurses getting makeovers...  wait, what's that?  Yes, Olivia and Tracy get into a big... well, let me just show you:

 

The title of the episode is "Jersey-vicious", and as you can see, it's appropriate.  Tune in!

I'll Firefly Away

A little while ago, one of my favorite actors Nathan Fillion did an inteview with one of my favorite magazines Entertainment Weekly about how the Science Channel has acquired the reruns his Joss Whedon sci-fi western show Firefly.  Now here's the money quote:

If Castle had its series finale tomorrow and Fox said to you and Joss: “We screwed up, let’s try doing Firefly again.” Would you do it?
Yes. Yes. I would examine very closely Fox’s reasoning — I’m a little gun-shy. If I got $300 million from the California Lottery, the first thing I would do is buy the rights to Firefly, make it on my own, and distribute it on the Internet.

Well, this comment has sent the rabid Firefly fans into a complete and utter tizzy, trying to raise money so Fillion can buy the show.  Now, avid readers of Jeez Jon know that I'm a big Joss Whedon fan.  I have every season of Buffy on DVD, along with Angel and, yes, Firefly and the follow-up film Serenity.  I'll watch reruns of Buffy on Logo even though I have them pretty much memorized by now.  I have Buffy the Vampire Slayer scripts, figurines, games (video, board and role-playing varieties) and memorabilia.  Hell, I even read for Joss Whedon for the initial pilot of Firefly (for the role of Man #2, who was later cut out, btw. Oh, and I didn't get the role.)  I liked Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog.  I'm all about Whedon and his vision.  So, I am just going to say it:

Guys, Firefly is done.  Let it go.

It ran its course.  Did the show end before its time?  Maybe.  Was it finding its way towards the last few episodes?  Yes.  Did the damn show stop airing over seven freaking years ago?  Yes.  So let it go. Stop trying to make Firefly happen.

When it comes to my pop culture franchises, I do think that there are some that thrive on longevity and others that don't.  Some properties really do well with reinvention (Batman, Star Trek and the Bond series come to mind).  Others are a set story that has to, you know, END at a certain time.  Maybe because they're both based on a finite number of books, the Lord of the Rings movies and the Harry Potter films are good examples of letting things run their course.  JK Rowling did such a good job wrapping up Harry's story at the end of Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows that I don't need another book telling me what Harry's been up to since.  I mean, do any of us think that Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull really answered any unanswered questions about Indy?  Seriously? 

When a show I like (or franchise) wraps things up, I mentally put them away.  Yes, I like to revisit them but I'm not itching to have them continue past their creative expiration date. I felt Joss did such a fantastic job wrapping up both Buffy and Angel that I find both of their follow-up comics to be... superfluous. I mentally put all those characters away a long time ago; I don't need to know nor care that Buffy is leading an army in Scotland or Dawn is a giant or Willow and Amy are fighting again.  Blah blah blah, I don't care, I'm done.  They were done when the shows ended.  The show's over, folks.  Move on.  Same thing with Firefly; it was a fun show while it was on but it's over.  It's been over for A LONG TIME.  Go elsewhere.

Which is why I'm rather nervous about Scre4m; I'm a huge fan of the Scream trilogy (as evidenced by my glowing post about Scream 3) so the last thing I really want to do is revisit the series and have my memories tarnished by a slapdash rehash of the first three films.  I am looking forward to seeing the movie, as I'm curious to see what they do with the characters or it could easily end up being Scream 4 And the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.  And none of us want that. 

Picking Up Where Someone Else Left Off

My most recent stint of unemployment has come to an end.  Two weeks ago, I was called in for an interview for Established Animal-Related Docu-Soap.  It was a Wednesday, and my appointment was at 2pm.  By 2:30, they made me an offer that I accepted and started bright and early the next morning.  The reason for the rush?  One of the story producers got another gig and left, so I'm finishing out his remaining 1 1/2 episodes.  So, my stint on this show won't be terribly long.  But it's work, so that's fine by me. I'm a week and a half in and everyone is cool people seem to like my work thus far.

Since I'm coming in on the tail end of a season, I'm taking over an episode that's already been started.  So, everyone knows the footge and show more than I do.  It's a balancing act where I am doing what I can to respect the work the previous guy did but also inject my own choices and POV to the material.  It would be folly for me to completely dismiss all the set up that was done before I started (since he was there when the outline was crafted) but the show can benefit from my outsider perspective.  This is a first for me;  it's doable but a definite challenge, that's for sure.

Point Me In The Direction of Central Jersey

As I previously mentioned, I've been story producing on a show since the beginning of July.  This coming Sunday, you can now check out some of my handiwork. And wouldn't you know, I'm working on a show set in New Jersey.  No, not the one with the Situation and Snooki.  No, not the one with the table-flipping housewives.  Nope -- I'm working on the Style Network's Jerseylicious, which takes place in a beauty salon in Central New Jersey.  And my first of three episodes airs this Sunday at 8pm on Style (with numerous reruns). 

In this Sunday's episode, the girls at the Gatsby Salon decide to throw a surprise baby shower for their very-pregnant boss Christy.  As you can imagine, some crazy ideas -- and some bitchiness -- gets served. The show is fun and silly and goofy and rather girly.  It's a fun show to work on. So, check it out if you have the chance and see what's been keeping me away from this blog.

A-List My Ass

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Logo’s new series “The A-List” is disheartening on so many levels.  First of all, it’s one of these shows that you see the pitch-to-the-network first and the content second. “I’m telling you, Barry, it’s ‘The Real Housewives’ meets ‘Queer Eye’!” So, in it’s creation it’s highly cynical.  Secondly, every gay man on this show is the same type of guy: the Muscle Mary.  They’re all in fantastic shape with lots of designer clothes and all come across as a bunch of bitchy, entitled airheads.  Never mind variety!  Never mind that there are oodles of different kinds of gay people out there, no!  Bring in the mincing stereotypes and you’ll all be fine.  Hell, this is New York City, full of gay hipsters, gay bears, gay wolves, gay otters and tons of other types of gay people... even gay women! 

I work in reality television but this level of cynicism behind a TV show just galls me to no end. I know when I’m being pandered to, Logo, and it’s not going to work.  I really don’t say this often but seriously? Fuck this show.

ETA: As a person who works in reality television, this season preview (or "supertease", which is the technical term) blows. You don't know any of the characters in it, you don't get an idea as to what happens on the show (besides shopping, eating and push-ups) and there is no conflict shown. At all. No fights, no arguments, no beer being poured on someone's weave. I think, honestly, the flatness of this and dullness offends me more than anything else. 

How Not To: Come Out

I'm christening a new feature here at Jeez Jon:  How Not To. Things have been happening lately that serve as examples of how to do something and then how not to do something.

The inspiration of this was when Ricky Martin came out of the closet last week.  He handled it with some grace and style, and a bit of modesty.  He also did it pretty simply: he made a statement on his website. 

Today is my day, this is my time, and this is my moment.

These years in silence and reflection made me stronger and reminded me that acceptance has to come from within and that this kind of truth gives me the power to conquer emotions I didn't even know existed.

What will happen from now on? It doesn't matter. I can only focus on what's happening to me in this moment. The word "happiness" takes on a new meaning for me as of today. It has been a very intense process. Every word that I write in this letter is born out of love, acceptance, detachment and real contentment. Writing this is a solid step towards my inner peace and vital part of my evolution.

I am proud to say that I am a fortunate homosexual man. I am very blessed to be who I am. 

Now, in this day and age, when a celebrity comes out of the closet, it's really not that much of a shock anymore.  The nation's gaydar has gotten a lot better over the years, so when Ricky Martin finally said he's a "fortunate homosexual man", we as a society greeted it with a collective "...duh!"  Barring the coming out of Meredith Baxter late last year, I have yet to be surprised by a celebrity who admits he or she is LGBT. 

While the argument can be made that Martin's admittance is a bit too little-too late, I do feel that people coming out is a good thing.  It's not like he's been staunchly anti-gay before; he's maybe a bit late to the party than we'd like, but at least Ricky Martin's gay debut is done with a bunch of class. This is an example of how to come out.

And now, here's where the "How Not To" kicks in.  Not much hay was made a few weeks ago when Will & Grace actor Sean Hayes finally came out to the Advocate. Really, are any of us surprised?  No.  Like Martin, Hayes danced around the subject for years and years.  Pardon the pun, but he really wouldn't give a straight answer about his sexual orientation.  He would give either really stock answers (like "I want to protect my privacy") to being downright coy about it.  Now, years after Will & Grace ended, he's finally come out... bitter, party of one:

Finally, Hayes gets to his true point: “I feel like I’ve contributed monumentally to the success of the gay movement in America, and if anyone wants to argue that, I’m open to it. You’re welcome, Advocate.”

"You're welcome"?!  Seriously?  Yes, Will and Grace was a ground-breaking show.  Yes, it helped shift the culture back in the late 90's, especially since it debuted soon after Ellen Degeneres came out on her sitcom. But seriously, let's break this down. Hayes is not a gay rights advocate, a politician or a volunteer at a non-for-profit clinic.  Hayes was an actor on a show. His performance as Jack McFarland was marvelous and wonderful and deserving of every award he received.  But fundamentally? He's an actor on a show.  He didn't create the character, the writers did.  So, if he didn't get cast in the role, some other actor would have, and would have contributed to the gay rights movement, Sean.  He claims that he was being coy about his sexuality in the press because he didn't want to be typecast. This is right after he admitted that he got the audition for Will & Grace after the producers saw him play a gay character in Billy's Hollywood Screen Kiss.  So, seriously, it was the very typecasting that he was claiming to avoid that got him 8 years on a hit sitcom, his current success starring on Broadway and a fucking Emmy.  So, while the rest of us gay plebians were doing the yeoman's work of actually living our lives from day to day, being out, doing our work, putting ourselves out there, here was Sean Hayes playing a gay character, making millions and doing a douchey dance around the subject of whether or not he likes boys.  

Ricky Martin comes out proud and happy; Sean Hayes comes out petulant, bratty, and douchey.  Marin for the win here. And Sean, this is how not to come out.

Breaking Down the Scum Bag

MTV has gotten around to airing the last couple episodes of Is She Really Going Out With Him? that I story produced.  After the illustrious and illustrated Lady Bag and the toe-tapping Twinkle Choad came the Miami Ego Machine.  He's a club owner in South Beach Miami, and boy does he love himself.  Oh, and he's a wannabe stand-up comic.  Yeah. MTV did not put clips up of from the show, but you can watch the entire episode here.  If you like a guy who constantly eats, wears black T-shirts, and abuses his girlfriend, you will enjoy our work tearing this guy down.

Now, we saved the worst for last... Peter, the Scum Bag.  I collaborated on this episode with another story producer, and trust me, the guy was too douchey for just one person to handle. This dude is suuuuuuuch a douche, we used his douchiness as a springboard for the clip show.  Peter also owns a nightclub in Miami (sensing a theme here?) whose been seeing his girlfriend Carley for a while now.  He goes out with his toady to look at some bling, and... well, take a gander.

Is She Really Going Out With Him? - MTV Shows

Klassy, no?  No, he's not.  Later, Carley sets up a wine tasting date for her and Peter.  The Scum Bag is not only late... he's absentee.

Is She Really Going Out With Him? - MTV Shows

With her BFF (and our production crew) in town, Carley finally hunts down Peter at his condo... with a mysterious bikini-clad girl.  Peter's handles this like a perfect... asshole.

Is She Really Going Out With Him? - MTV Shows

Peter is the worst; this is only a mere taste of how awful this guy is. If you see him, run, people, run!  Run away! 

You can see how much fun this show is, and it's also a blast to put together.  It's a great group of people who do this show and it's an honor for me to be in their company.  And besides, we're showing all of America the many different types of douche, scrote, and choad for everyone to avoid.  It's like a public service... against Ed Hardy.

Breaking Down The Twinkle Choad

Another one of my episodes from MTV's Is She Really Going Out With Him?  aired last night, and this one is a doozy.  This episode deals with the Twinkle Choad, the ballroom dance instructor douche.  Yes, you read that right.  Frank has been seeing his girlfriend Lisa for two years.  She loves Frank, and Frank loves Frank too.  Oh, and dancing; Frank loves to dance.  In this first clip, Frank demonstrates how important listening is to any relationship... by not listening.

Is She Really Going Out With Him? - MTV Shows

Later, Frank and Lisa agree to meet up for a romantic dinner date.  Lisa is on time, and Frank... Frank is quite late.  Surely Frank will prove to Lisa that she's a priority... right?

Is She Really Going Out With Him? - MTV Shows

Classy, huh?  In order to help make amends, Frank invites Lisa and her BFF's to his dance studio for a big salsa party.  When Lisa arrives, she looks through the window and sees Frank entertaining a bachelorette party... by giving and receiving a lap dance from the bride-to-be.  Lisa, as you can imagine, is none too thrilled. 

Is She Really Going Out With Him? - MTV Shows

He's a keeper, huh ladies?  As you can see, story producing this episode was tons of fun.  Frank is very douchey, and the dancing aspect is a nice refreshing change from the club promoters and wannabe male models who we usually profile.  Bust a move, Frank... you are a douchebag.

Two Stones In the House of Eleganza

Culturally speaking, I've been gorging on two things lately... the Olympics and RuPaul's Drag Race.  For the former, it's a pretty simple equation:

Unemployment + digital cable + Olympics = getting deeply invested in Curling.

You've never heard of curling? It's like some weird love child of skating, bocce ball, shuffle board and chess.  On ice.  With huge stones that you shove down... oh, here's some animation to get you started.  Anyway, curling is the perfect afternoon sport to watch after you've gone to the gym in the morning, hit every job website for the hours before and after lunch, and you don't want to read any more E.M. Forster today.  Watching two teams glide down the ice to knock different colored stones out of concentric circles as two commentators with thick Canadian accents (yes, that's possible) quip and ooh and ah... well, it's great.  Especially when you have Canadian curler (and personal trainer AND firefighter) John Morris firing up your HD TV.  Here's below on the right:

And yes, "below and on the right" is something I'd ask for him to do.  Oh please, you would too...

The other portion of my brain -- okay, the gayer portion -- is currently obsessed with RuPaul's Drag Race.  Hands down, it's one of the best reality shows I've ever seen.  Not only is it a solid competition show (drag queens compete against each other to be the next drag superstar), it's also a great send-up of competition reality shows.  Every week, there are two guest judges: one is a regular guest judge and the other is an extra-special guest judge.  Of course.  And on the show, RuPaul out of drag out Tim Gunn's Tim Gunn and in drag, she out Tyra's Tyra Banks (not to mention Drag Race contestant Tyra Sanchez). The most recent episode was all about game shows, where the girls played "Heel Or No Heel", and then did their best celebrity impersonations in, of course, "Snatch Game."  Here's where the ladies had to fill in the blank about Slutty Sally.

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Tatianna's answer about the disco stick absolutely slayed me.  It's hilarious.  And this is what this show has going for it.  The show itself is like a drag queen:  bitchy, dramatic, over-the-top, and yet believable and something you deeply care about.  RuPaul's Drag Race is one of the few reality shows -- hell, TV shows -- I can watch over and over again.  And with all these crazy awesome bitches, it's easy to see why.

Now, if RuPaul can get this girls in some heels and do some curling, my head might just explode.