Ones Are The Loneliest Numbers... And The Most Irritating
Lately I've been privy to a lot of conversation amongst my single friends and co-workers. They will go on and on about their mating rituals and etiquette and blah-blah-blah. "I can't believe he wanted to split the check!" "Why would he say that in an IM?" "I really do like her, but I don't know..." And while I'm sympathetic and I try my best to be a good listener, I can't help that a huge chunk of me... well, doesn't give a rat's ass. I've been with Tom for so long and I don't see myself with anyone else, so even the concept of trying to date kinda confuses me. My single days are 14 years behind me, so when my single friends & co-workers ask me for my opinion, I do my best, but it's like me trying to speak Klingon or something. I can make some words and sounds that come close to what they're talking about, but fundamentally I really don't understand.
I think also the big gulf in my lack of understanding is that all of these single friends and co-workers are straight. Way back in the early to mid-90's when I was single, I never really encountered the whole mating dance of the etiquette of only calling someone after a few days or so-and-so picking up the check. In my (rather limited) experience, we gays would sometimes split the check, other times one of us would pay for it. Case closed. We all have lives to lead, jobs to work, so why should things be this complicated? I'll hear the straight single friends and co-workers go on and on and on about their dating foibles about who should do what and yadda yadda yadda and it takes almost all of my energy to prevent myself from rolling my eyes and giving out a big Who Gives A Shit sigh.
My singledom time I view in the same way as high school: a period of my life that happened a long while ago that I have absolutely no interest in revisiting. I know myself so much better now and like myself so much better now than I did what I was single and when I was high school, so why even talk about it now? Maybe that's where my apathy comes from.
To be clear, I do have some great single friends who DON'T talk about their dating foibles and who don't go on and on about their lack of a significant other. Occasionally, they will sigh and wish they had someone, but that's about it. Those friends tend to define themselves by their jobs or interests or their belief structures first, and everything else second, which is why I prefer to hang out with them, I think. 'Cause, honestly, if I want to hear someone kvetch about their single adventures, I'll watch Sex and the City. At least that'll be funnier and I can turn it off whenever I want to.
Recent Comments